SUDS FLASH:
Summer is over already!
—One Life confirms that former Gossip Girl Amanda Setton’s character name has been changed from Summer to Kimberly Andrews. As Soaps Up’s new co-host, Lisa, wondered on-screen recently, “maybe Summer is Kimberly’s stripper name?!”
PICTURE OF THE WEEK:
Presenting Geneva Swift, World Turns |
 |
VIDEO OF THE WEEK:
Tuc Watkins is The Sentimentalist!
REMOTE CONTROL: RATING THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE UGLY
> PLAY:
ALL MY CHILDREN: Livid?
If AMC was smart, they’d pair Liza with David. Vincent Irizarry is the only actor who shares chemistry opposite Jamie “Turbo” Luner. Also, how nice was it to see Beth Ehlers (Taylor) back on-screen again? This week, Brot and Taylor break up because of her crush on Tad.
Fearless Prediction: Adam and Annie marry after she learns she’s pregnant. All together now, “ewww!”
<< REWIND:
AS THE WORLD TURNS: The No. 1 Gay Detective Agency
With all these plot-driven storylines World Turns throws at Noah and Luke, perhaps the soap’s big super-couple should open up their own private eye business! This week, Col. Mayer returns to haunt the couple once again by using Riley/Adam as his pawn. Let’s pray Damian takes care of that pest once and for all for our boys. I’d love to see Nuke involved in a character-driven storyline for once. Enter Forbes March (Mason) …
Fearless Prediction: Holden saves Carly from her alcoholism just as Lily and Damian rekindle their romantic relationship.
II PAUSE:
THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL: The Price Is Wrong!
Who else thought Ronn Moss (Ridge) did an admirable job when his character was high on anxiety pills and booze? Most importantly, I’m thrilled that my dear Brooke is finally free from her toxic and abusive “fantasy” and obsession with mama’s boy, Ridge Forrester! Taylor and Ridge are hypocrites — and belong together. Especially when those freaks complain about this endless Rick and Steffy fiasco. Firstly, does Taylor forget that she is responsible for Darla’s death? And that Taylor's affair with Rick led to her daughter, Phoebe's accidental death? Doesn’t she realize that she’s irresponsibly drugging Ridge? As for Ridge, let’s also not forget that he raped Brooke — and that he of all people should know that meddling parents will only strengthen a couple’s bond, not destroy it. I hope Brooke moves on with her life and either sets her sights on Nick or Bill.
As for Donna’s over-the-top appearance on The Price Is Right, all I can say is gag me with a spoon! While it was fun and refreshing to see Pam and Donna bond over their game-show experience, was it appropriate to have two rich women freak out over their winnings in this economy? Donna better donate her winnings to a charity. I’m sure the Forresters have more than their own share of top-of-the-line ovens and expensive cars for the entire family to enjoy.
Fearless Prediction: Brooke interrupts Nick and Bridget’s wedding by professing her love to Marone!
<< REWIND:
DAYS OF OUR LIVES: Like father, like daughter-in-law
It’s refreshing to see Stefano DiMera approve of one of his son’s spouses. As Stefano and Nicole bond over their machinations, the blond vixen is proving to be quite the formidable addition to the DiMera dynasty. And who else thinks that EJ and Sami could evolve into a more realistic, grown-up version of Stefano and Marlena? Together, Alison Sweeney (Sami) and James Scott (EJ) are unstoppable as ex-lovers scorned.
Fearless Prediction: This summer, Patch and Kayla briefly return to the canvas to help their daughter, Stephanie re-cover from her pill addiction.
> PLAY:
GENERAL HOSPITAL: If Jake’s is a rockin’, don’t come a knockin’!
With Jason in romantic limbo (JaSam? Liason? Who cares?), GH would be wise to flirt with a romance between Claudia and Jason. Sarah Brown and Steve Burton still have “it” in spades. MY FF-button definitely takes a much-needed holiday whenever Burton and Brown have one of their epic showdowns. One of my fave GH couplings ever is Jason and Carly, so I wouldn’t mind seeing a Burton-Brown redux. For me, Brown and Maurice Benard (Sonny) are old news.
Fearless Prediction: Sam sets her sights on Michael — and deflowers the boy!
> PLAY:
GUIDING LIGHT: Gum under the table and chairs
How cute is Mandy Bruno (Marina) these days? She’s the only normal person in Springfield!
Fearless Prediction: Edmund turns out to be alive. Where has he been hiding all this time? Lumina.
<<REWIND:
ONE LIFE TO LIVE: We’ll always have Paris, Texas!
After all is said and aired, Marcie McBain will rate as one of my favourite One Life characters. As we all know, it’s rare when a soap character manages to transcend the medium by becoming a real person whom you admire, love and respect. For me, Michael and Marcie were those rare soap friends I always enjoyed catching up with on-screen —no matter what insanity they were dealing with.
When One Life regrettably announced that they were letting go two of their best actors, Kathy Brier (Marcie) and Chris Stack (Michael), I was naturally livid. Thankfully, head writer Ron Carlivati sent the couple off to Seattle Grace with a fitting goodbye by penning the characters a happy ending. In the story, Marcie handed baby Hope back to baby Starr and, before departing town, our perky and loving high school teacher learned she was pregnant. It was a loving, beautiful offering from Carlivati. Consequently, Brier and Stack’s sad exit was a lot easier to digest.
Brier and Stack’s firing punctuates the end of a brief zenith in One Life’s history because Ron Carlivati’s breakout storyline, the Paris, Tex., opus, starred Brier and Stack. With RC seemingly compromising his pure talent to appease the agendas of corporate thugs, and with the insanely talented Brier and Stack now a memory, it was a sad week in Llanview. We’re not in Paris anymore, kids.
Fearless Prediction: Layla becomes Llanview’s Carrie Bradshaw; Fish arrests Ellen Wheeler for scouting locations in his park; Cole and Starr revel in one happy, stress-free month; Rachel admits she underwent a lobotomy; the disloyal brat, Shane, dumps Brody and Rex and proclaims Schuyler is his new dad; Dorian kidnaps Ray and brings him back to Flanview.
 |
<< REWIND:
THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS: Casting suspicion!
How touching was it to see Katherine and Jill bond when they heard Nina’s son, Phillip, may be in danger of developing Huntington's Disease? For a few scenes, the two bitter enemies forgot their silly feud by joining forces to do right thing by deciding to exhume Phillip’s body, Cane Ashby be damned. Is there anything Jeanne Cooper (Katherine) and Jess Walton (Jill) can’t do? More impressively, in a stellar monologue, the incomparable Tricia Cast (Nina) reminded everyone who the star of this show used to be long before Michelle Stafford (Phyllis) stepped foot in Genoa City. Sign Cast to a contract, puh-lease! I could watch Cast, Cooper and Walton read World Turns scripts all day and still be riveted! Finally, an honourable mention is in order for the very impressive Anne Betancourt (Estella), who broke my heart when Estella was arrested for gaslighting Ashley.
Fearless Prediction: Katherine recalls switching Cane and Phillip as babies, but then realizes she switched them back because she was so drunk and had no idea what she was doing! “Never drink tequila,” she warns. Kitty jumps off the set when Y&R asks her to take a pay cut! Agent Aucker’s overacting prompts Kevin to strangle the “FBI” agent. |
THE IDIOT RATINGS
CBS in trouble — again! DAYS shoots up!
Ratings for the week June 8-12, 2009
—Courtesy of Soap Opera Network
*TVGuide.ca values viewers of all shapes, colours, sexualities, and ages, which is why we print the total viewing audience tallies. Screw you, Madison Avenue! We’re not buying your bull anymore. And memo to soaps: perhaps you should start selling ad space that cater to older, gay, and black audiences. You know, the people who actually watch this garbage! These are desperate times — you can’t afford to turn away any revenue streams available.
(Compared to Last Week/Compared to Last Year)
Total Viewers (Compared to Last Week/Compared to Last Year)
1. Y&R 4,774,000 (-71,000/-10,000)
2. *B&B 3,026,000 (-175,000/-568,000)
3. DAYS 2,816,000 (+154,000/+263,000)
4. GH 2,634,000 (+131,000/-157,000)
5. OLTL 2,595,000 (+40,000/-58,000)
6. AMC 2,519,000 (+33,000/-17,000)
7. *ATWT 2,209,000 (-42,000/-380,000)
8. *GL 1,810,000 (-43,000/-465,000)
Household Rating (Compared to Last Week/Compared to Last Year)
1. Y&R 3.4/11 (-.1/-.1)
2. *B&B 2.2/7 (-.2/-.4)
3. DAYS 2.1/7 (+.1/+.2)
4. GH 1.9/6 (same/-.3)
5. AMC 1.8/6 (same/-.2)
5. OLTL 1.8/6 (-.1/-.3)
7. *ATWT 1.6/5 (-.1/-.3)
8. *GL 1.3/4 (-.1/-.3)
*NEW LOW
THE NELSON RATINGS
Can’t watch all the soaps this week? No worries — here’s a cheat sheet!
Top 3 Soaps to Watch:
1. The Young and the Restless, CBS/Global
2. Days of our Lives, NBC/Global
3. One Life To Live, ABC/A
Top 3 Storylines to Watch:
1. Straight to bed, Y&R
2. Cane Ashby exposed, Y&R
3. GL’s Phillip: On Death’s Door?
Top 5 Actresses to Watch:
1. Stacy Haiduk (Mary Jane/Patty, Y&R)
2. Martha Byrne (Andrea, GH)
3. Michelle Stafford (Phyllis, Y&R)
4. Crystal Chappell (Olivia, GL)
5. Alison Sweeney (Sami, DAYS)
Top 5 Actors to Watch:
1. Chris Engen (Adam, Y&R)
2. Michael Muhney (Adam, Y&R)
3. Rick Hearst (Ric, GH)
4. Peter Simon (Ed, GL)
5. Grant Aleksander (Phillip, GL)
Top 5 Comic Geniuses:
1. Ilene Kristen (Roxy, One Life)
2. Alley Mills (Pam, B&B)
3. Trent Dawson (Henry/Geneva, World Turns)
4. Trevor St. John (Todd, One Life)
5. Ted Shackelford (Jeffrey, Y&R)
Top 3 Duos To Watch:
1. Olivia and Natalia, GL
2. Rex and Gigi, One Life
3. Noah and Luke, World Turns
Top 2 Love Triangles:
1. Olivia/Natalia/Rafe, GL
2. Phyllis/Nick/Sharon, Y&R
Top 3 Guilty Pleasures:
1. Y&R’s Mary Jane’s stuffed cat, Kitty
2. Molly Burnett (Melanie, DAYS)
3. Carly’s drinking, ATWT
Top 3 Rivals to Watch:
1. Téa and Blair, One Life
2. Sami and EJ, DAYS
3. Sharon and Phyllis, Y&R
Top 3 Families to Watch:
1. The Cramers, One Life
2. My Two Mommies, GL
3. The Newmans, Y&R
Top 3 New Couples to Watch:
1. Rafe and Sami, DAYS
2. Cristian and Layla, One Life
3. Fish and Kyle, One Life
Top 4 Duos to Avoid Like the Plague:
1. Rex and Stacy, One Life
2. Annie and Adam, AMC
3. Meg and Damian, World Turns
4. Markko’s parents, One Life
Top 3 Child/Teen Actors:
1. Drew Garrett (Michael, GH)
2. Shenell Edmonds (Destiny, One Life)
3. Carmen LoPorto (Jack, One Life)
Top 4 Biggest Wastes of Talent:
1. Lesli Kay (Felicia, B&B)
—tie — Katherine Kelly Lang (Brooke, B&B)
3. Colleen Zenk Pinter (Barbara, World Turns)
4. Carolyn Hennesy (Diane, GH)
Top 3 Hair Models:
1. Drew Tyler Bell (Thomas, B&B)
2. Caitlin Van Zandt (Ashlee, GL)
3. Crystal Hunt (Stacy, One Life)
Top 3 Passionate Fan Bases:
1. Otalia, GL
2. Defending Y&R’s Chris Engen (Adam)
3. Jolie, One Life
 |
Top 3 Soap Magazine Covers:
1. Soap Opera Digest — Fireworks: Y&R/GH/One Life/B&B/DAYS
2. Soap Opera Weekly — GL’s Grant Aleksander (Phillip)
3. Soaps In Depth — Eric Braeden (Victor, Y&R): Another misleading headline! |
Top 3 Soap Moments To Watch:
1. Wednesday’s Canadian Episode: Y&R’s Michael Muhney debuts as that lunatic Adam. Sign up to twitter.com to follow SudsReport’s tweets during the highly anticipated episode.
2. Tuesday’s Canadian Episode: Will we detect any tension in Chris Engen’s last performance as Y&R’s Adamo?
3. Wednesday: GH’s Andrea attacks Matt! “Listen little boy, I’m Martha Freakin’ Byrne! I will eat you for lunch with my two Emmys as utensils,” warns the mayor’s wife! |
 |
Want to dish the soaps with Nelson Branco? Join The Suds Report discussion group today on Facebook.
Follow TV Guide Canada on Facebook! And follow Suds Report on Twitter!
Nelson Branco is a Toronto freelance entertainment journalist, who regularly contributes to Hello! Canada, The National Post, The Los Angeles Times' theenvelope.com, TV Guide USA, tvguide.com, Inside Entertainment, OUT, and fab magazine, along with spearheading the soap coverage for TVGuide.ca's popular daytime TV hub. After graduating from Ryerson University in 1997, he moved from Toronto to New York in 1998 to take on the roles as senior news editor at Soap Opera Update. Branco first freelanced for Soap Opera Weekly as an intern in 1994, and after leaving Soap Update to help create and launch Bauer Publishing's In Touch Weekly in 2003, Branco continued to freelance occasionally for its sister publication, Soaps In Depth. Most recently, he helped create and launch Canada's first celebrity magazine, Weekly Scoop in 2005 as its news and entertainment director. Branco is also a contributor to a new TV show titled Planet Soap to air in Canada and America.
