It’s not every day that a young indie band from Newmarket, Ont., gets a chance to be on one of the hottest shows on TV, but Tokyo Police Club isn’t exactly your average band.

That whole X-factor phenomenon might sound cliché but the Canadian foursome has had an unprecedented whirlwind of a year after releasing their boisterous debut album Elephant Shell and becoming one of the most buzzed-about bands in the country.

Success just kept coming for the lads after they scored an opening slot on Weezer’s current national stadium tour, and they were name-dropped on shows like The Hills – heck, even Republican presidential candidate John McCain’s daughter reportedly bopped to their tunes on the campaign trail.

Now the power-poppin’ boys are headed to Wisteria Lane, making their prime-time debut on Desperate Housewives for November Sweeps. In this week’s episode, the band won’t appear as sexy gardeners or pool boys for Wisteria’s cougars to prowl on, as you might expect. Nope, the rockers will be none other than the rivals of the Desperate men’s band, which enters a “battle of the bands” contest at a local nightclub.

Tokyo Police Club will appear under the guise of Cold Splash on the show, performing their song “In a Cave,” and will even have lines to deliver. Series creator Marc Cherry hinted that the band will play a crucial role in a huge fire disaster in which, unfortunately, some residents won’t survive. Dun-dun-duuuuuuuh!

This exciting music-television news may even get someone like me to tune into the ABC dramedy, but it also leaves me a little curious about the fake name the band acquired. Being the scatterbrain that I am, my chain of thoughts immediately ventured to other fictitious bands on TV.

I’m not talkin’ about bands like TPC that masquerade as fake bands. No, I’m thinkin’ about all those made-for-TV bands that will never put out a record and are purely for the show’s entertainment – i.e. The Partridge Family or Alvin and the Chipmunks. And of course, I’ve put together a little compilation of my favourite fake bands on TV.

Tokyo Police Club appears on Desperate Housewives Nov. 16 at 9 p.m. ET/PT on ABC.

THE BEST FAKE BANDS ON TV

Robin Sparkles – How I Met Your Mother
If you grew up listening to Debbie Gibson or Tiffany, then How I Met Your Mother’s parody of a Canadian teen pop star will leave you in stitches. During Season 2 of this hilarious sitcom, the gang discovered that Robin (Cobie Smulders) used to be a Canadian teen sensation named Robin Sparkles, who performed in malls all over Canada.

Her hit “Let’s Go to the Mall” music video showed her appropriately clad in acid-washed jeans and permed hair dancing around the food court. A second music video was later discovered in Season 3, called “Sandcastles in the Sand”. In this over-the-top video, James Van Der Beek guest-starred as her boyfriend and we also saw cameos by Tiffany and Allan Thicke. Both “Let’s Go to the Mall” and “Sandcastles in the Sand” became viral videos scoring a record number of hits on YouTube and CBS’s MySpace page for the fake singer.

Scrantonicity – The Office
Scrantonicity is a Police cover band led by the office accountant Kevin Malone (Brian Baumgartner) on drums and vocals. The name of the band is combination of the Police’s 1983 album Synchronicity and the town they work in, Scranton, Penn. The band first appeared at Phyllis’ wedding performing several songs by the Police, including “Roxanne” and “Every Breath You Take”. It was revealed this season that Kevin is no longer a member of Scrantonicity and has formed a new band called Scrantonicity II.
DriveSHAFT – Lost
How long did it take you to get that bloody “You All, Everybody” out of your head? Oh crap, it’s back. Before Lostie Charlie Pace (Dominic Monaghan) crashed on the island, he was in a one-hit wonder English band with his brother Liam called DriveSHAFT. As revealed in flashbacks, DriveSHAFT exploded onto the music scene with their song “You All, Everybody,” which lead Charlie down the typical rock star path to becoming a junkie and eventually the band broke up. 
Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem – The Muppet Show
Who doesn’t love this misfit crew that made up the house band of The Muppet Show? Band members included the leader Dr. Teeth, Janice on guitar, Zoot on saxophone, Sgt. Floyd Pepper on bass, Ralph on piano and Animal on drums. Jim Henson modeled each Muppet after a real-life musician; Dr. Teeth for Dr. John, Janice for Janis Joplin, and most famously Animal after The Who’s Keith Moon.
The Be-Sharps – The Simpsons
The Be-Sharps are Homer’s barbershop quartet made up of Apu, Skinner, and Chief Wiggum, who was later replaced by Barney. In their back-story, the Be-Sharps’ career parallels that of the Beatles – their second album was titled Bigger Than Jesus and Barney began dating a Japanese conceptual artist. Their hit song was “Baby On Board,” which appeared on their first album Meet the Be-Sharps.
Jem & the Holograms – Jem
I truly, truly believe that Jem was responsible for shaping me into the music geek that I am today. The cartoon, which featured two all-female bands (Jem & the Holograms and The Misfits) battling it out on stage instead of over men, showed young female viewers that achieving their dreams and being independent women was the most important thing. Jem was Jerrica Benton’s alter-ego and the Holograms consisted of Kimber, Aja and Shana. The Misfits, “whose songs are better” and were my favourite (surprise, surprise), were made up of Pizzazz, Roxy and Stormer.
Zit Remedy – Degrassi Junior High
“Everybody wants something that’ll never give up.” The Zit Remedy was the make-shift band comprising Degrassi’s Joey Jeremiah (Pat Mastroianni), Snake (Stefan Brogren) and Wheels (Neil Hope). Though they only played one song, they were the rock stars of Degrassi Junior High. They were later known simply as the Zits.

The Hot Sundaes – Saved By the Bell
OK, I know Saved By the Bell is a questionable series to admire but the episode featuring Hot Sundae was the best ever and has become a thing of TV legend. Jessie Spano (Elizabeth Berkley), Kelly (Tiffani Thiessen) and Lisa (Lark Voorhies) decided to form a girl group called The Hot Sundaes, who are to perform the Pointer Sisters’ “I’m So Excited” for a producer friend of Zack’s (Mark-Paul Gosselaar).

Unfortunately Jessie was so busy studying for exams that she turns to No-Doze caffeine pills to help her stay awake and developed an addiction to them. When Jessie was late for the group’s audition, Zack found her asleep in her bedroom, which led us to the ultimate scene when a frantic Jesse started wailing, “I’m so excited! I’m so excited! I’m so ... scared!” If you’ve seen this episode, you know what I’m talkin’ about.

 

Other favourite fictional bands on TV:
- Friends – Ross and Chandler’s college band Way, No Way
- My So Called Life – Jordan Catalano’s band Frozen Embryos
- Flintstones – The Way Outs
- Partridge Family – The Partridge Family
- Josie and the Pussycats
- South Park – Fingerbang
- Arrested Development – Dr. Funke’s 100% Natural Good Time Family Band Solution
- Full House – Jesse and the Rippers

Who are some of your favourite fake bands on TV? Email me at jessica.russell@tvguide.ca

 

JESSICA’S JUKEBOX: FRESH TUNES YOU GOTTA HEAR

Kaiser Chiefs – Off With Their Heads (Motown)
The sole purpose of this third album from Leeds’ finest lads is to get your night started right. It’s a mad dash of dizzying, catchy pop-rock hits that feed off the same Mod-revivalist and ‘80s new wave flavour as their smash debut record. Completely infectious hooks and sing-along choruses will have you pogo-ing with your pints.
Recommended if you dig ... The Jam or XTC.

 

Various Artists – OMFGG: Original Music Featured on Gossip Girl (Atlantic)
Gossip Girl is one of those shows that makes the music just as important as the characters, all thanks to music supervisor extraordinaire Alexandra Patsavas. She knows how to elevate a scene with just the right song, and on this rockin’ compilation she represents Gossip Girl’s Manhattan kids-behaving-badly characters with oodles of New York gems like the Virgins, the Teenagers and Albert Hammond. Any fan of the show will love this collection.
Recommended if you dig ... the Ting Tings or the Virgins. 

 

Mavis Staples – Live: Hope at The Hideout (Anti/Epitaph)
Soul singer Mavis Staples is an American treasure with an impressive career that reaches back to the ‘60s when she was the lead of the Staples Singers. Now at the age of 69, the legend and her three-piece band continue to bring down the house on this outstanding live album recorded in the intimate Hideout in Chicago. Here, Mavis and her band offer searing versions of gospel and blues numbers from the civil rights era like “Wade in the Water” and “We Shall Not Be Moved” that will send shivers down your spine.
Recommended if you dig ... Aretha Franklin.

 

Japanese Motors – Japanese Motors (Vice)
This Orange Country quartet’s debut album sounds exactly like you would expect when the lead singer is a professional surfer. Not that that’s a bad thing; quite the contrary – these guys have the upper hand when creating that summery ‘60s surf-rock vibe and I dig it whole-heartedly. Of course, I could do without the seagull samples but these dudes are embracing where they come from and it’s completely reflective in their sun-baked sound.
Recommended if you dig ... The Strokes or the Beach Boys.

 

Hexes & Ohs – Bedroom Madness (Noise Factory)
This sugary sweet boy/girl duo (and lovebirds) from Montreal’s first proper studio album is a charming collection of puppy love and pop gems that reeks of innocent fun. Feeling more disco than electronic, and with each member sharing duties on all instruments and vocals, this album is quite impressive and packs surprises into every song.
Recommended if you dig ... Chromeo or Stars.

 

Other fresh picks ...
Suzie McNeil – Rock n Roller (Universal) Rock
Recommended if you dig ... Pink.

John Legend – Evolver (Sony) R&B
Recommended if you dig ... Stevie Wonder.

 

Jessica’s musical nerdiness started at a very young age thanks to Jem and the Holograms, CFNY’s Free At Last compilations and an early introduction to Nirvana. She has since developed a penchant for effeminate indie rock, soul/mod revivalists, Scandinavian singers and old school hip-hop.

After a stint as a music writer at Toronto’s acclaimed NOW magazine, Jessica now aims to make the couch potatoes of the world a little more music savvy in her column Telly Tunes.