The Suds Report - March12/10

Follow Nelson on Twitter as well as his partner-in-crime and editor, Denette!

SUDSIEST QUOTES OF THE WEEK:
“I stole some of the wife’s Vicodin.”
—DAYS/Venice star Galen Gering during the Soap Opera Spirit Awards on MichaelFairmanSoaps.com
Translation: I stole my wife’s Vicodin.

“Someone is getting stuffed on Venice next year. I hope I do the stuffing.”
—Multiple Soap Opera Spirit Award winner Crystal Chappell during the SOS Awards on MichaelFarimanSoaps.com
Translation: Damn, Mr. Kitty! Damn him!

“It began as a dream that became a nightmare. I’d like to blame it on the Ambien but the fact that it’s continued on leads me to believe I’m just a little twisted.”
—One Life’s Michael Easton on his hit comic novel
Translation: Just like John and Marty.

“I really don’t know. I was so excited when B&B won because I felt like I had won, too. That was good enough for me. That was my Emmy. The whole process wigs me out. I finally decided to take part in the Emmy judging because I was curious about what’s going on there. But mostly I’m, like, why bother? It’ll just drive me crazy. I love to work and I like to leave the studio feeling I did a good job. That’s what’s important to me.”
—B&B’s underrated Katherine Kelly Lang to TV Guide’s Michael Logan on her Emmy snubs
Translation: I want an Emmy, damn it!

“[Those scenes were] terrible! [Liz] totally deserved it, so it did not make it that hard for me to play. All I had to do was listen to Jonathan, and I felt so guilty. So it was easier than I had anticipated.  Of course, Jonathan [Jackson] is so easy to work with that it makes acting come very naturally for all of us. Tyler Christopher said we just have to stand there and watch him and Jonathan did it all!  It was amazing. It’s an Emmy for Jonathan for sure. That would not surprise me. I knew that was going to come, but I was afraid for a moment that he was going to hit me [Laughs]!”
—GH’s Rebecca Herbst on whether or not her character deserved getting called every name in the book to MichaelFairmanSoaps.com
Translation: Jonathan did all the work. Tyler and I slept through those scenes. Good times.

AWARDS SHOW CENTRAL
Will Brian Frons air the Emmys? Listen to the SOS Awards!
Liar, liar? Last year, ABC chief Brian Frons declined to air the Daytime Emmy Awards when CBS defiantly refused to air TV’s biggest awards show. However, Fronzie promised the press that he would air the kudofest this year. I’ll buy you all lunch if that happens.

In other awards show news, DAYS/Venice stars Crystal Chappell and Galen Gering hosted the third annual Soap Opera Spirit Awards. If you missed the fun and light-hearted podcast last Tuesday night, click here because it’s still available. Tune in to hear Y&R’s Peter Bergman, Stacy Haiduk, Michael Muhney and Billy Miller’s acceptance speeches. The biggest news? The oh-so-charming, sexy and hilarious Chappell and Gering have a future in radio! Especially that sexy bastard Gering, who had me in stitches throughout the podcast.

THE IDIOT RATINGS — March 1-5
Winners — Brian Frons and Barbara Bloom!
Losers — ABC loses across the board, but AMC is still its top soap! Is Y&R in trouble again?

Courtesy of SON
(Compared to Last Week/Compared to Last Year)

Total Viewers
1. Y&R 5,016,000 (-182,000/-379,000)
2. B&B 3,209,000 (-124,000/-294,000)
3. DAYS 2,973,000 (-249,000/+59,000)
4. AMC 2,728,000 (-59,000/+28,000)
5. GH 2,582,000 (-186,000/-103,000)
6. OLTL 2,463,000 (-154,000/-170,000)
7. ATWT 2,431,000 (+10,000/-243,000)

Households
1. Y&R 3.6/12 (-.1/-.2)
2. B&B 2.4/8 (same/-.1)
3. DAYS 2.2/7 (-.1/same)
4. AMC 2.0/7 (-.1/-.1)
5. GH 1.9/6 (-.1/-.1)
6. OLTL 1.8/6 (-.2/-.2)
6. ATWT 1.8/6 (same/-.2)

Women 18-49 Viewers
1. Y&R 1,159,000 (-36,000/-61,000)
2. DAYS 866,000 (-17,000/-25,000)
3. GH 859,000 (-104,000/-51,000)
4. OLTL 738,000 (-54,000/-88,000)
5. AMC 731,000 (-19,000/-97,000)
6. B&B 700,000 (+2,000/-78,000)
7. ATWT 615,000 (+18,000/-60,000)

HERO OF THE WEEK
From hair model to Oscar winner!
Calm down, Hunter Tylo! In one weekend, Sandra Bullock accepted both an Oscar and a Razzie Award — in person! Wish daytime actors were as cool …

All My Children, ABC, A — Mathison moves to Canada!
• How do you like that Soaps In Depth-inspired, misleading headline? Toronto’s Cameron Mathison told Suds Report that he moved to — wait for it — La Cañada, California! “Funny, huh?” laughed Mathison. “I thought so. But it’s pronounced La Can-ya-da.” Once a Canadian, always a Canadian.

• Now that Damon has been revealed to be Hillary and Tad’s son — WTF?! — will Carmen Thomas Paris return? She hopes so. Read this great Pine Valley Bulletin interview with the soap vet here.

• Soap Opera Spirit Award-nominated sensation, Pratt Falls, is back! — and bitchier than ever! Click here to hear the not-so-imaginary bitches weigh in on two-time SOS winner Eden Riegel’s Y&R soap-hop.

• Lorraine Broderick knows her shiz! Pine Valley Bulletin, which is clearly on fire this week, reported that One Life’s original Viki, Gillian Spencer, will be returning to Pine Valley Palmer’s funeral. Two words — Opal showdown!

• Fellini who? Emmy winner Vincent Irizarry corrected Suds Report recently when he informed me that his last name is Spanish — not Italian. “Italian names don’t usually end in ‘y.’” OK, then — but you’re still a sexy bastard! Especially for a 50-year-old! Slurp.

• ABC isn’t losing any money, apparently! AMC stars tells Suds that not only did they get a lush dressing room out on the west coast, but also all their dressing rooms are equipped with huge plasma, flat-screen TVs. Burn, One Life! Burn.

As The World Turns, Global/CBS — More Moore! • Here’s the first picture of Julianne Moore from her first day back on World Turns. BTW — I hear there is some juicy gossip regarding Moore’s return … • The gloriously gorgeous and uber-talented Terri Colombino talked to Michael Fairman about all the backstage drama on the World Turns set. I, too, am glad “everyone took the high road” on the reported Austin Peck and Colombino affair. But the truth is the truth. The New York Times reported on Tiger Woods’ myriad affairs — which had nothing to do with his profession. But this story did affect what we saw on screen, which is why I reported on it. I don’t care about what people do in their bedroom, unless it costs me my favourite super-couple.

The Bold and the Beautiful, CBS/CTV — Happy 23rd!
• Golden oldie — and two-time Soap Opera Spirit Award nominee — Betty White will host Saturday Night Live on May 8. It’s a testament to the power of fans. Perhaps like James Franco’s stint, SNL will make fun of B&B. Hey, there’s a lot to laugh about — and mock — on this show!

• Congrats! On March 23, B&B will mark its 23rd anniversary. Wonder what Bill Bell would say on the current state of the soap? Before he sees the international cheques, that is.

• Stop the presses — Jennifer Gareis wed her baby daddy Bobby Ghassemieh.

• Unlike Guiding Light, B&B is smart! Next week, Zack Conroy takes his shirt off. Delicious.

• Head writer and Emmy-winning executive producer Bradley Bell tells Soap Opera Digest that he wants Adrienne Frantz back as Amber. Hard. Also, Emmy winner Darin Brooks reveals to the mag that B&B was in talks with him to join their show! Holy crap! Brooks hints it’s still not out of the question. Tune into DAYS next week for Brooks’ mini-return as Max.

• Someone named Brad Sanders has signed on to host an online recap show exclusive to B&B’s  official website. The corporate agenda will debut on March 12.

Days of our Lives, NBC/Global — Buried in SOD print!
• Be afraid. Very afraid. Kooky Louise Sorel is blogging on soapoperadigest.com. Read the madness here. Love her.

• But not as much — just need to say this — as I love Leann Hunley. Swoon. The Emmy winner is a sexual game changer.

• Drake Hogestyn fans read the Reality Bytes item down below. The arched eyebrow is back. Big time.

• Emmy winner Stuart Damon debuts on DAYS next week. Don’t miss it. The former GH superstar told Digest that he  loved working with Galen Gering and James Scott — and of course, Leann Hunley. “I’m certainly game — [and would love to come back].” Suck on that, GH!

• From Martha Madison’s desk — Samantha’s Friends is a charity the Soap Opera Spirit Award nominee worked with for many years. The organization purchases and provides helper-canines to people with disabilities. Samantha’s Friends also works in conjunction with Kids and Canines.

One of my favourite people in the world, the insanely sweet, smart, talented and generous Madison exclusively tells Suds, “This year we’re launching an event during the DAYS Fan Weekend here at my restaurant Henry's Hat (coincidentally named after my own dog, Henry) on June 5th at 9 a.m. Most of the DAYS cast is coming. Deidre Hall, Crystal Chappell, Renee Jones, Wally Kurth, Judi Evans, Lauren Koslow, Mark Hapka, Galen Gering, Molly Burnett, Shawn, Casey Deidrick, and former DAYS stars Rachel Melvin, Eric Winter, Patrika Darbo, and of course, myself, are all signed on. Also, there could be a few surprises, too.”

For tickets, email sammyb1978@aol.com.

Degrassi: The Next Generation — A new soap opera?
My pals at Degrassi, whose creator Linda Schuyler is celebrating 30 years of helming this iconic show this year, is considering a televoleva format. Read more here. BTW — do it! Love my Linda. She’s a true hero in every sense of the word. Fearless, loving, and honest.

General Hospital — Sri Rao’s not himself! • Daytimeconfidential.com broke the news that Soap Opera Spirit award nominee Sri Rao, of General Hospital: Night Shift, signed on to write Darren Star’s new Bravo series, I’m Not Myself These Days. One of the most talented scribes daytime has ever seen tells Suds exclusively, “I read a memoir last year that I fell in love with called I Am Not Myself These Days, written by Josh Kilmer-Purcell. Luckily, Carrie Southworth, who played Claire on Night Shift — introduced me to Josh and Josh gave me permission to develop his book for TV.  I then partnered with Darren Star, and brought on a co-writer (Emily Branden, who wrote two episodes of NS for me) — and we sold the pitch to Bravo. We are still in development, meaning that we are in the process of writing the pilot right now, so a series may or may not actually happen. Fingers crossed, though, because it’s a really fun concept ... and the show has plenty of Night Shift connections so perhaps that will be good luck!” Bravo — and congrats, Sri!

One Life To Live, ABC — Are we GLAAD? Nope!
• The Kish-off heard around the world — One Life’s lone super-couple, Kyle and Fish, have been exiled into Marcie and Michael oblivion. Mid-week, TV Guide Magazine shockingly informed the suds world that Spirit Award nominees Brett Claywell and Scott Evans have been essentially fired, though their characters may still recur. Suds Report contacted GLAAD rep Rich Ferraro for a reaction because this weekend, One Life will find out if their soap will win for best daily drama. Although they deserve the accolades, One Life clearly has no tact — nor timing. Or do they? Couldn’t they wait until Monday to announce this disappointing news. Why would ABC subject their stars to torture on the red carpet this weekend and release this information on their own accord? Unless they wanted the message out that there is no longer a gay couple on their soap, other than John and Todd, of course.

But back to the larger subject. GLAAD president Jarret Barrios exclusively tells Suds: “The Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) today advocated for continuation of the storyline of characters Kyle and Fish on One Life and spoke out on the importance of bringing fair and accurate media images of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) people to Americans. Last summer, One Life brought a ground-breaking relationship into the homes of millions with Kyle and Fish’s story, one that built acceptance and understanding of gay people. While we understand that the close of storylines is a frequent occurrence on daytime dramas, cancelling this story just as it gains momentum is a step backward in ABC Daytime’s representation of the lives of gay Americans.”

He continues, “When news reports broke yesterday, GLAAD spoke to ABC Daytime to voice concerns over the cancellation and advocate that the storyline continue. We remain disappointed that ABC Daytime has chosen to stop sharing this powerful story with viewers of One Life. GLAAD will continue to advocate that in the near future, producers and writers at ABC Daytime incorporate gay and transgender characters in their programming.”

Thanks a lot, Frank. Don’t blame Brian Frons on this idiotic decision, Suds readers. Yes, in fact, I have learned it was reportedly executive producer Frank Valentini’s decision to fire Claywell and Evans. “We were all shocked,” says a cast member. “And so were they.” While Suds reported last week that Evans auditioned for a pilot, it was not because he learned he had been let go. The stunned actor confirmed that on his Twitter account this week.

So what’s the real reason for 2010’s dumbest decision? Well, reportedly, one of the actors’ unprofessional behaviour could be to blame for the firing. “Scenes were literally nixed because of someone’s partying,” says a network source. “Never have I seen that before. It’s not all Frank’s fault.”

Still, why would ABC fire their biggest marketing tool? How many soap stars have held up production before because of their egos? Couldn’t something be worked out? Or did this storyline hit too close to home for certain execs?

Despite this new information, several conspiracy theories are abound including a massive budget cut — because of the eight actors fired in the past few months — and Logan’s theory that a homophobic focus group led to the decision. While One Life sunk in the ratings this week, last week it was 28,000-ish viewers ahead of last year — when One Life began telling the Kish storyline. As we all know, Kish hasn’t even been on the front burner since October, so who really is to blame for One Life’s alleged ratings loss? Remember when One Life beat GH and AMC in the ratings last year? One reason — Kish, baby. I bet you a million dollars if this risky Jessica storyline doesn’t work out, Bree Williamson won’t be fired!

Daytimeconfidential.com’s Jamey Giddens hit the nail on the head with his astute editorial today. And I’ll give him the last word because I’m too furious to comment right now.

Also, why does spoiler-phobic ABC suspiciously keep releasing story information to TV Guide Magazine two months in advance? They did it with the big gay wedding, Stacy’s icy death, and now Kish’s exit. It’s unheard of. And criminal.

Meanwhile, One Life fans are FURIOUS over the firing. And I mean furious. Suds Report’s inbox is overwhelmed with vitriolic emails. In fact, some fans are mobilizing to protest outside of Good Morning America! Many, especially the fans who tuned into watch One Life because of Kish, promise they won’t ever watch the best soap on TV again.

I know. One of my best friends, Michael Guenther, started watching One Life when he happened upon Kish’s sex scene. “I had never seen anything like that before on TV,” he shockingly told me months later. Yep, he knows I’m a soap columnist, and even though I urged the B&B and Coronation Street fan to watch One Life ages ago,  he never heeded my advice. Now he’s addicted.

When I told him Kish was exiting the canvas, his heart sunk. The gluten-free chef said, “I arranged my whole day around One Life. In fact, I gave up B&B so I could watch Kish! What am I going to do now?”

Get in line, honey.

Regardless, this controversial decision may help Claywell and Evans secure Emmy nominations in their respective categories from the gay-friendly soap business. Suds has learned that One Life only paid for — and pre-nominated in-house — contract actors to enter the Emmy race, not recurring stars. Once again, One Life was dead on arrival on that decision ...

•  Who cares? Austin Williams has been taken off contract. Who knew he was on contract? Hey, buddy — squinting doesn’t mean you’re acting.

• AMC’s Jamie Luner would make a fierce Marty. Just saying. 

• Bazillion-time Emmy winner Erika Slezak is back on set. The soap vet ended up taking six weeks off instead of four for her back surgery. Welcome home, honey buns!

• In story-related news, just want to say this Jessica-17-again storyline is genius. I’m loving every second of it. Bree Williamson is nailing it — and I think One Life would be wise to create a new personality for the Emmy-nominated actress every year. Seriously — it’s one of the funniest and most entertaining storylines of the new decade. My abs hurt just thinking about it.

• Is Tika Sumpter the next One Life casualty? She better not be. Thankfully, the answer is a big nope! Suds has learned that the beautiful and talented Soap Opera Spirit Award nominee has asked to go on recurring status herself. So there.

Reality Bytes — The Eyebrow returns!
• Tristan Rogers makes the world go round — the GH superstar recently announced that Drake Hogestyn and Tonja Walker have joined their cast! What — is Mark Teschner casting this show?

The Young and the Restless, CBS/Global — Victoria Rowell clone alert!
• Crack is whack, yo! Y&R is casting a “ late 20s to early 30s, African-American female [yeah, right!].” Apparently, “Simone” is Malcolm Winters’ smart, beautiful, and confident fiancée. The Dru-bot is also a strong and savvy businesswoman, who can go head-to-head with top-level executives. But as tough as she can be in her professional world, she can also be charming, passionate, and accessible with a great sense of humour. It’s a contract role and begins taping in April. Just around the time Victoria Rowell’s Secret of A Soap Opera Diva is released. Rowell gave The Suds Report an exclusive sneak peek into her salacious “novel,” and all I can say is it’s to-die-for.  Everyone order your copy now! STAT! Don’t believe me? Check out Rowell’s promotional video here, where she excellently shows off her unbelievable acting skills and promotional/marketing prowess! That’s my girl!

• Someone is clearly re-reading his or her Shakespeare and Alfred Hitchcock. Is Adam plotting his own murder-suicide? No intel, but that’s my theory. Maybe Scott Hamner actually stole a fantastic plot twist from his alma mater Knots Landing for a change … Meanwhile, Y&R has been simply on fire this past week. The National Post columnist Shinan Govani told Suds, “Y&R is epic this week. It’s definitely been Agatha Christie-ish. Murder on the Orient Express or Ten Little Indians. And Adam, with his no-budge scary sociopathicness, is in Ripley territory. Very Patricia Highsmith. Loving it.” Indeed, Michael Muhney is murdering everyone in his path. Keep it up, Y&R. You’re my No. 1 soap this week! Déjà vu, huh? It’s about time. Welcome back to the big leagues.

• Vail Bloom is a liar! Or at least her publicist is. After it was announced that Emmy winner Eden Riegel was recast as Heather Stevens, Bloom’s publicist told Soap Opera Digest that, “Vail left the show on her own. She was not fired or let go. She was a non-contract player on Y&R and it was ultimately her choice to leave. She has had to turn down outside projects presented to her in the past and now wants to be able to pursue other opportunities. There are no ill feelings on Vail’s side whatsoever and she looks forward to her movie The Somnambulist to come out soon. Vail really enjoyed her time on Y&R. Playing Heather was an incredible experience and she felt very honoured to be on the No. 1 soap.” Yeah, whatever. As Suds readers know, Y&R has been trying to recast the role since forever. In fact, Gina Tognoni confirmed to me at this year’s past Emmy Awards that she was all but given the role.

• The phenomenal Sharon Case is in the process of divorcing her husband if anyone cares. For more, pick up Soap Opera Digest for the exclusive storyline, er, story.

• How much do I love Jess Walton? Find out Monday.

• In story 411, next week Ashley takes off with Faith or Hope or Hell.

• This could be scary — or great. Emmy winner and ecstasy spokeswoman Tracey Bregman reveals that she and co-star Christian LeBlanc are starring in a Reba McEntire music video. Hey, as long as Yvonne Zima is not in it — I’m good to go!

Want to dish the soaps with Nelson Branco? Join The Suds Report discussion group today on Facebook.com.

Nelson Branco is a Toronto freelance entertainment journalist, who regularly contributes to Hello! Canada, The National Post, The Los Angeles Times' theenvelope.com, TV Guide USA, tvguide.com, Inside Entertainment, OUT, and fab magazine, along with spearheading the soap coverage for TVGuide.ca's popular daytime TV hub. After graduating from Ryerson University in 1997, he moved from Toronto to New York in 1998 to take on the roles as senior news editor at Soap Opera Update. Branco first freelanced for Soap Opera Weekly as an intern in 1994, and after leaving Soap Update to help create and launch Bauer Publishing's In Touch Weekly in 2003, Branco continued to freelance occasionally for its sister publication, Soaps In Depth. Most recently, he helped create and launch Canada's first celebrity magazine, Weekly Scoop in 2005 as its news and entertainment director. Branco is also a contributor to a new TV show titled Planet Soap to air in Canada and America.