SUDSIEST QUOTES OF THE WEEK:
“DAYS has half the budget Passions had, so we have half the thread count on the sheets — and I’m getting chafed! The burns are just horrible.”
—Eric Marstolf to TV Guide Magazine’s Michael Logan
Translation: That’s the story I tell my wife and I’m sticking to it.

“Sometime you have to be your own publicist.”
—World Turns’s Alex Cole on We Love Soaps TV
Translation: I work for P&G/Telenext.

“At least the sex on DAYS is consensual. I don’t think Theresa ever had sex with Ethan without drugging him first and basically raping him. I have to say that Days is the best job I’ve ever had — not that I’ve had many. Everybody is happy there and I cannot get over that. Everyone is so professional and they care and don’t complain. It’s just so wonderful.”
—DAYS’s Lindsay Hartley to TV Guide Magazine
Translation: GH and Y&R never called me back.

All My Children, ABC/A — Mathison’s cheery future!
• Cameron Mathison is finally working on a real soap — literally. Along with acting out horrific material on AMC and being a correspondent on Good Morning America, the handsome Canuck has crossed over to the dark side by starring on soap-killing machine P&G’s new suds campaign for Cheer, Brighton Bay. Weird that P&G didn’t hire one of their soap stars to headline the commercial serial. Regardless, cheers, Cam!

• La Lucci will act as grand marshal diva whe she headlines The Hollywood Christmas Parade/Live Positively Sponsored by Coca-Cola. “I am thrilled and honoured to serve as the Grand Marshal of the 2009 Hollywood Christmas Parade,” Lucci said in a statement.
• Congratulations are in order for Alicia Minshew and husband Richie Herschenfeld who both welcomed their first daughter, Willow Lenora, into the world much earlier than expected. Instead of a Thanksgiving birth, Minshew popped out her kid this past week. There is some concern as to whether or not Minshew will be able to film her exit maternity storyline that will also help usher out her co-star Thorsten Kaye.

• Remember when head writer Chucky Pratt promised he was going to turn the Fusion workplace into daytime’s version of Ugly Betty’s Mode magazine? So much for that plan. Heck, so much for writing a soap, period.

• Amanda and Jake fans aren’t going to be happy about this one bit! Next week, Amanda has sex with David! Seriously. “I was devastated when I read I had to do this,” Chrishell Stause shares with Soap Opera Weekly. “They were the hardest scenes I’ve ever had to play.” So what’s Amanda’s motivation? According to daytime’s biggest mysogynistic pig, head writer Chucky Pratt, a desperate Amanda is so desperate to save her marriage to Jake that she devises a plan to get pregnant with David’s kid. Yes, because getting preggers by your hubby’s sworn enemy is the key to saving a marriage. No wonder Stause told Pratt to screw off by not re-signing her contract. All makes sense now.

As The World Turns, Global/CBS — Noah Blind? Hagner out?
• Word from Brooklyn is that Meredith Hagner may be leaving World Turns because there is a lot of interest in the actress from other mediums. If Hagner leaves, expect Liberty to die of cancer, shares one source. “It’ll be Emmy-worthy,” says an insider. Yes, because the Snyders haven’t had enough Emmy-worthy deaths to deal with. 

• Don’t be surprised if Marie Wilson also finds herself out of job soon. A personal off-screen relationship with another actor may be to blame, say friends. “Things are very tense on set,” reports one witness. There must be something in the Oakdale water. 

• Here’s a “blind item” regarding gay super-couple, Nuke, literally. Looks like Noah may find himself without any eyesight in the near future. That’s what one source is claiming. Looks like World Turns is throwing Nuke back on the front burner. “Noah’s doctor will be gay and fall head over heels in love with Luke,” offers the mole.

The Bold and the Beautiful, CBS/CTV — The bride wore a scar!
• Brad and Victoria … er, Bill and Katie are headed to the altar. Look for Joanna Johnson to return for the very glamorous nuptials on Nov. 12 and 13. As evident from this week’s Soaps In Depth’s cover story, Brad Bell spared no expense. Which is a waste of money considering the hot couple have been dating for a nanosecond, and knowing B&B’s track record, Bill and Katie will be divorced by month’s end.

• B&B has never met a campy stereotype it didn’t like! Look for Pam’s new BFF and agent, Serge, to mix it up on more of a recurring basis. Jim J. Bullock “resurges,” as Soap Opera Weekly quipped in this week’s issue, on Nov. 9 and 12. Well, at least Forbes March will be happy.

Days of our Lives, NBC/Global — Corday Confusion!
• Arrest twins Lauren and Hailey Sinnema, who collectively play baby Sydney! The cute-tastic babes are simply stealing the show. On several occasions, Sydney and Hailey have even out-acted their on-screen parents — which is not an easy feat. My favourite look on the twins is, “Boy, I must have killed the Pope in a past life to deserve these wack jobs as my parents!” One of the babies even graces this week’s Soap Opera Weekly (Eric Braeden must be fuming)! Someone should hire the Sinnema’s PR team to take over TeleNext because this isn’t their first cover! A very reliable Weekly and Digest source informs Suds that this won’t be the last time the Sinnema duo grace their covers.

In story 411, Sami learns that Sydney is her daughter this week! “She might have to kill Nicole,” Alison Sweeney tells Digest. I have to say that daytime’s latest baby switch storyline may be one of the genre’s best ever. So thanks to the actress who created this storyline!

• This is an interesting passage from Michael Logan’s TV Guide Magazine interview with new Salem transplants, Lindsay Hartley and Eric Martsolf:

Days of our Lives, NBC

Logan: I was surprised to see your boss Ken Corday quoted in Soap Opera Digest, intimating that the Brady-Arianna relationship isn’t going to last.
Martsolf: Whaat? He really said that?

Logan: Yep. Here’s exactly what he said: “Are we building a relationship between these two? Yes. In the end, though, I don’t think she’s going to end up with Brady.”
Martsolf: Uh … that’s an interesting quote.

Logan: Well, Ken’s famous for saying weird [stuff] but it sure does seem a bit soon to be throwing a damper on the relationship. It’s just getting started.
Martsolf: I don’t believe Brady and Ari are going to sit around and have sex and eat strawberries for the rest of their tenure on DAYS but still …

Hartley: That is odd …

Martsolf: Lindsay, I think you and I should march right up to Ken Corday’s office tomorrow morning and demand a response!

Hartley: [Laughs nervously but says nothing]

General Hospital, CTV/A —Franco to extend his stay? Wright re-signs!
• After a revealing interview with Soap Opera Digest where she basically told GH to shove it, Emmy winner Rena Sofer was cast on NCIS as a “no-nonsense” lawyer. The part may become recurring. Perhaps this will end Sofer’s borderline show-killing career.

• Oops! In Monday’s Soapgeist, I erroneously credited Karen Harris as the writer of Spixie’s romantic non-nups. The credit belongs to the talented and magnificent Michelle Val Jean, who should be head-writing her own soap.

• It’s GH’s turn in Soap Opera Weekly’s anniversary cover poll. Click here to pick your fave. Me? I opted to vote for Finola Hughes’s psychedelic solo cover.

• In story 411, Carly kicks Jax to the curb! Hurray! I’m sorry, but I never got Jax nor Ingo Rademacher’s appeal on this soap. I pray Sonny and Jason bury the self-righteous bastard six feet under. Hey, think of all the money ABC would save. Rademacher’s always on vacation anyway.

• The only Emmy-less Carly (I don’t count Jennifer Bransford), Laura Wright, tweeted that she has signed on for an additional four years. She wrote, “You guys are stuck with me!” I love and admire Wright a lot, but it is strange how Wright still has a job considering she shares no chemistry with Carly’s true love, Maurice Benard.

• Vanessa Marcil, who? Head writer Bob Guza has a new obsession, James Franco Branco! “[James] is very excited and wants to do more [episodes]. There’s a very good chance he’ll be back,” the Emmy winner squealed to TV Guide Magazine.

One Life To Live, ABC — No news …
… is good news, I guess.

Venice, venicetheseries.com —  Dyke-tastic Photos!
• Future Nobel Peace Prize winner Crystal Chappell informed We Love Soaps TV that the fans who shopped at the V-shop have helped pay for the first week of production on Venice! That’s my girl! Below is an assortment of gorgeous Venice galleries for your viewing pleasure. Look for Venice to debut sometime around American Thanksgiving, chickies!

The Young and the Restless, CBS/Global — Muhney out?
• If you hate Adam Newman or love to hate him, you’ll get a break from the baby-switching, sexually ambiguous evildoer. According to Michael Muhney, he will be off the show for a couple of weeks because of his recent accident in Vail, Colo. If you missed my interview with Twitter queen, Michael Muhney-Puny, click here for his entertaining ramblings.

• In story 411, Phyllis goes all Chris Brown on Patty Cakes. I can’t wait to see Michelle Stafford and Stacy Haiduk battle each other on screen. Karma’s a bitch, Phyllis. Let’s pray there is no spit involved. Also, Chloe decides to pursue Chance after his stabbing (don’t look at me). Billy and Chloe are a super-couple in the making, but I will enjoy seeing a jealous Billy squirm. What moron would pass up Elizabeth Hendrickson?

Soap Opera Mystery Hour — This week’s hottest blind items
— Which soap vet was asked back to AMC and strongly considered doing it? That is until she watched the ABC sudser for a full week and thought it was “sloppy, pathetic and drek!”

—Which east-coast actress is trying to be BFFs with her new co-star because the rest of the cast hates her?

—Which east-coast younger actor was caught spanking the monkey in his dressing room recently?

 

 

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Nelson Branco is a Toronto freelance entertainment journalist, who regularly contributes to Hello! Canada, The National Post, The Los Angeles Times' theenvelope.com, TV Guide USA, tvguide.com, Inside Entertainment, OUT, and fab magazine, along with spearheading the soap coverage for TVGuide.ca's popular daytime TV hub. After graduating from Ryerson University in 1997, he moved from Toronto to New York in 1998 to take on the roles as senior news editor at Soap Opera Update. Branco first freelanced for Soap Opera Weekly as an intern in 1994, and after leaving Soap Update to help create and launch Bauer Publishing's In Touch Weekly in 2003, Branco continued to freelance occasionally for its sister publication, Soaps In Depth. Most recently, he helped create and launch Canada's first celebrity magazine, Weekly Scoop in 2005 as its news and entertainment director. Branco is also a contributor to a new TV show titled Planet Soap to air in Canada and America.