The Suds Report - Aug 21/09

Households
1. Y&R 3.5/11 (+.1/-.1)
2. B&B 2.5/8 (+.1/same)
3. DAYS 1.9/6 (+.1/-.5)
3. GH 1.9/6 (same/-.3)
5. AMC 1.8/6 (-.1/same)
5. OLTL 1.8/6 (-.1/-.1) *ties low rating
7. ATWT 1.7/5 (+.1/-.1)
8. GL 1.4/4 (-.1/-.2)

All My Children, A/ABC — Eden Riegel sets the imaginary record straight! • Eden Riegel (ex-Bianca) is tweetin’ mad! In this week’s Soap Opera Digest, the magazine claims that the Emmy winner will decline to re-join the ABC sudser when it moves to L.A. in 2010. Riegel tweeted, “Just to let you guys know [Soap Opera Digest] doesn’t have any inside information concerning moi. I am still an enigma!” Meanwhile, Mr. Eden Riegel, a.k.a. Imaginary Bitches’ genius Andrew Miller, tells The Suds Report, “We’re thrilled to have AMC moving to L.A.! Especially since they’ve been trying so hard to incorporate imaginary characters into their storylines (Annie, Spike’s imaginary mom). With our two shows being in the same city, I hope they’ll feel comfortable coming to us for help and maybe together we can expand the opportunities for the imaginary community.” I’d pay to see that happen. Can you imagine head writer Chuck Pratt Jr. having dinner with Mrs. Riegel-Miller? Maybe they can discuss future employment opportunities over a few beers at The White House.

• Sorry, but we’re stuck with Madison North: Stephanie Gatschet will continue to air into November. Let’s pray she kills Randi and then turns the gun on herself.

• More on the L.A. move: Actors tell The Suds Report ABC is offering the contract cast stipends to compensate for moving expenses. Also, the show is still unsure which recurring actors will be welcomed in L.A.

• Angelina Jolie, who? Last week, 2009 Emmy nominee Alicia Minshew (Kendall) revealed in a Soap Opera Digest feature interview how she kept the biggest news of the year — her five-month pregnancy — a secret. This week, the newlywed recounts the exact same story to Soaps In Depth in another feature interview. You’d think she found a cure for cancer or something. I’d much rather hear how Minshew manages to walk into ABC every morning to act out one of the most contrived and ridiculous storylines AMC has ever created. You poor thing!

• In story 411, JR learns he has a potentially fatal form of lymphoma; Natalia and Brot develop a relationship; Zach and Kendall get their happily-ever-after ending in November; and Tad does the chicken dance. 

As The World Turns, Global/CBS — My Favourite Tunie!
• Maybe he was getting a haircut? Insiders were worried whether or not Grayson McCouch (Dusty) was on his way out, but according to the actor, the hairy beast is back at work after experiencing a bit of a dry spell. Also, look for Tamara Tunie (Jessica) to return to help facilitate Chaunteé Schuler's exit as faux Bonnie.

• Where is executive producer Christopher Goutman finding all this cashola? Agim Kaba (Aaron) and Steve Bassett (Seth) will be returning to the show to help Oakdale mourn Holden’s latest presumed death.

• From The Ugly Life … We Love Soaps is reporting that daytime rascal Billy Magnussen (Casey) will be appearing on the much buzzed about CW series, The Beautiful Life. Sebastian Roche (Jerry, GH) will also guest star. No word if they will be required to shed their clothes, but I’m sure Magnussen would be willing to drop trou.

• This soap is in dire need of more GH actors! Never fear — Stuart Damon (ex-Alan, GH) will debut soon as Ralph, Janet and Teri’s uncle. Expect the Emmy winner to mix it up with Audrey and Henry as well. Why do I have a feeling Luke Spencer will turn out to be Henry’s real father?

• She’s here all week, folks. Judi Evans (Maeve) made me laugh out loud when she told Soap Opera Weekly that fans do recognize her when she’s selling funeral plots. The Emmy winner jokes, “Basically, if they buy a funeral, I give them an 8X10 [Laughs]. I’m kidding!” She adds if her World Turns gig ends, it’s all good. “Worst case scenario, it’s back to the cemetery.” Hey, perhaps Evans could give TeleNext/P&G a good deal on GL and World Turns’ tombstones. As for a future on DAYS, Evans says she would jump at the chance to join Wally Kurth (Justin) in Salem as Adrienne and/or Bonnie. • In story 411, Liberty learns she’s with child; a crazy couple finds a presumed-dead Holden; Tom learns the truth about Adam; and Maddie returns to town.

• In story 411, Beth finally gives Stephanie a piece of her crack-head mind; Jackie pursues Owen; Eric plans on adopting an adult Marcus; and Steffy and Owen become “BFFs.”
 
Days of our Lives, Global/NBC — EJ learns the truth; Lucas gets sloshed!
• One of my favourite soap actresses, Lindsay Hartley (ex-Theresa, Passions), will debut this week as Ari 2.0 on Aug. 28. Welcome back to daytime, you beautiful and talented creature. How much you wanna bet DAYS pens in a Passions reference when Ari, Brady and Rafe share a scene together?

• Where’s the autistic kid? Someone send out a search party. He’s probably hanging out with Summer in Genoa City.

• In story 411, Ciara’s found; Hope and Bo’s marriage hits the skids; Rafe disappears; EJ finally learns the partial truth about Nicole’s baby swap; and Lucas falls off the wagon.

Daytimeconfidential.com, ITunes — A likely podcast
• Want to hear a hilarious story about one of daytime’s most fabulous grande dames, La Robin Strasser (Dorian, One Life)? Well, make sure you listen to this week’s ABC podcast. David Ozanich — one of the authors of Likely Story: Red Carpet Riot — is a guest on this week’s episode. FYI: This Monday, DC.com airs its annual Emmy predictions episode with theenvelope.com’s Tom O’Neil and myself.

General Hospital, CTV/ABC — Oprah: “I don’t endorse MonaVie” • The queen of daytime TV, Oprah Winfrey, and new talk show host, Dr. Oz, have filed a lawsuit against 40 companies either selling açaí berries or related products, with their name endorsements on them. According to their complaint, such companies are “fabricating quotes or falsely purporting to speak in Dr. Oz’s and/or Ms. Winfrey’s voice about specific brands and products that neither of them has endorsed.” A statement on Winfrey’s website read: “Consumers should be aware that neither Oprah Winfrey nor Dr. Oz are associated with nor do they endorse any açaí berry product, company or online solicitation of such products, including MonaVie juice products.” Several members of the GH cast are selling MonaVie products to its fans — and have even taped promotional material on the ABC studio property.

• Lynn Herring (Audrey, World Turns; ex-Lucy, GH/PC), cover your ears: Head writer Robert Guza Jr. warns Soap Opera Digest that more famous faces are headed to Port Chuck to headline a series of hospital mystery arcs starring Scrubs as medical detectives. “We love the idea of featuring many big soap stars in limited kinds of runs and letting them do like Martha [Byrne, Andrea] did,” Brian Frons’ BFF says. Tell that to Genie Francis (ex-Laura). Question: How can a network expect its audience to stay loyal to its shows when executives don’t respect its own cast and the people who made the soap a hit in the first place? What you put out, comes back to you … maybe daytime should try being nicer to its own vets.

• Is GH going to the dogs? Watch this hilarious YouTube video where a soap bitch sings along to the Port Charles opening. For once, I’m speechless.

• Former American Idol contestant Chikezie Eze will be performing on an upcoming September episode. Let’s pray Spinelli doesn’t sing back-up. He tweeted, “OK, I'm not gay or anything, but I might have squealed a [little] bit when I met Sonny Corinthos and Jason Morgan. And they were fans of me!” Eze may not be a friend of Rafe Torres, but Sonny and Jason are big question marks.

• In story 411, Jason and Sam make love (“the lovemaking is spectacular,” Bob Guza previews in Soap Weekly. “This is so much more about making love; this is a full-fledged romance”); Spixie head to the altar; the carnival makes an appearance in Port Charles; and Nikolas and Elizabeth explore “their forbidden love.”

Guiding Light, Global/CBS — What came first — the lesbian or the Mormon?
• During the GL Paley Center tribute, executive producer Ellen Wheeler admits that she came up with the Otalia love story. Hey, at least one good thing came out of the writers’ strike. The hypocritical Emmy winner claims that love is universal in this Paley Center video — whether it’s heterosexual or homosexual. Really? Seriously? Then why aren’t Otalia allowed to kiss and/or make love like your straight couples, Ellen? Last year, The Suds Report was the first to break the news about Otalia’s love story (ironically, these future diehard fans refused to believe the story scoop at the time) but TeleNext denied it, calling their relationship “a unique friendship.” I guess we can agree on one thing, Ellen!

• Circle the date: Maureen Garrett is back as Holly on Aug. 26! Can’t wait! I wonder if they’ll recall the good old days when P&G threw Michael Zaslow (ex-Roger) out on the street when the Emmy winner learned he had ALS (One Life happily welcomed back the actor to their show)? Good times! P&G has always been a shady company to work for. I’ll never forget interviewing a heartbroken Zaslow after the role of Roger was recast and GL refused to pay the actor a stipend to cover his medical and lifestyle expenses.

• Being a soap fan can pay off: Virginia resident Liz Schuller pocketed $50,000 on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire when she correctly answered a GL question (she had to use her phone-a-friend option). The question? Well, it was easy. “Getting its start as an NBC radio program in 1937, what soap opera will end in 2009 after nearly 16,000 episodes in 72 years? A. One Life, B. AMC, C. GL  D. World Turns.” Apparently the million-dollar question wasn’t asked: “Why didn’t Natalia call Olivia before she abandoned the woman she claimed she loved?”  Answer: Because the writers wanted to torture Olivia for loving a woman.

• In story 411, a Spaulding sacrifices his own life to save Phillip; Billy proposes to Vanessa; Mallet abandons Marina; and someone tells Jonathan to stop screaming.
 
One Life To Live, A/ABC — More returns; Strasser’s Runway!
• Hello Kelly, Joey and Kevin? Head writer Ron Carlivati teases Soap Opera Digest readers to expect more familiar faces to visit Llanview in the coming months.

• One Holy Life To Live? Israel’s Rating Magazine soap reporter, Aviad Kidron, Facebooked Suds Report to say he’s desperate for ABC to syndicate One Life in his country. He wrote, “In my debut column, I began a campaign to bring One Life to Live to Israel. I’ve asked readers to send Facebook messages to [ABC soap chief] Brian Frons asking him to work towards that goal. Maybe ABC will finally bring this soap to the Middle East.” Be careful for what you wish for, Aviad — ABC may move One Life’s production over to your homeland!

• Want to dress like a soap diva? Here’s your chance to bid on Emmy winner Robin Strasser’s (Dorian) infamous awards-show fashions! The best part? All the proceeds benefit charity.

• The impossibly handsome Michael Lowry (Ross) tells Soap Digest he’s thrilled to be playing a three-dimensional character. “Finally, there’s a character who’s a little more complex than a goody two-shoes, so for me it’s just a lot more interesting. What I’ve always wanted in a soap opera is to have a character with more than two dimensions,” he says. Get in line, buddy. Look for Lowry to debut next week.

• In story 411, Fish comes out of the closet to Layla; Natalie and John team up to find Jessica’s stalker; Blair finds Ross in Tahiti; and Kyle dates Nick.

*New! Every Week!
Venice, venicetheseries.com — The Lesbian Word
• The best actress on daytime, Crystal Chappell (Olivia, GL; soon-to-be Carly, DAYS), will probably be nominated for a casting Emmy next year if she keeps lining up fan favourites for her new creative venture! The latest addition to her highly anticipated web series, Venice, is The L Word’s Elizabeth Keener. Where do I sign up? I want to be a lesbian, too, damn it!

For more lesbian dish, watch this YouTube video co-starring Chappell and her Venetian partner, Kim Turrisi:

Welovesoaps.net —  Diversity Weekly
• Was Joshua Morrow (Nick, Y&R) unavailable? Soap Opera Weekly editor Mala Bhattacharjee not only has the longest last name on the planet, but she also has great taste in podcasts! The diversity advocate subbed in for an MIA Michael Goldberg for this past week’s episode. But don’t worry, Tricia Cast (Nina, Y&R) — it’s only a temporary recast! And did I hear Absolutely Should-less author, Damon L. Jacobs, actually use the word “should” during the show? What a scandalia!

The Young and the Restless, CBS/Global — The Young and the Heteroflexible!
• How did you guys feel about Nikki “outing” Adam to Victor, Paul and Heather? Who does she think she is — Michelangelo Signorile?

• WTF? Despite show runner Maria Arena Bell’s assertions in a recent TVGuide.ca interview that Y&R was planning on telling more than one gay storyline this summer and fall, co-head writer Scott Hamner refutes that claim to Soap Opera Weekly. Apparently, he says, “At this point, we are not doing a gay story, and we never actually were doing a gay story. I don’t see a future for Rafe and Adam.” Well, neither did we, Scotty! So what would you call Phillip Chancellor coming out of the closet? A PSA? Or a mistake? Y&R is really beginning to piss me off. Let’s review: It’s OK for an aunt and nephew to have sex, cheating on their respective family members; an adult woman kissing a toddler on the lips after the psycho ate a cookie the kid was allergic to, making the child brain-damaged in the process; and a woman oblivious to the fact that she miscarried her baby after her son-in-law accidentally scared her into a fall down a flight of stairs — but having two men kiss on-screen is too taboo for this soap? I preferred the days when head writer Maria Arena Bell handled the soap press herself.

Speaking of Phillip Chancellor III, run out to the nearest newsstand and purchase this month’s issue of Out magazine to read my interview with Thom Bierdz on p. 94. To accompany the story, there’s one hell of an artistic photo of Bierdz in the monthly gay magazine, which features Lady Gaga on its cover.

• Has Tonya Lee Williams (Olivia) left the building? The Canadian star tells The Suds Report she “hasn’t worked in nine weeks!” But that’s OK, says Williams. As previously reported, the thrilled NAACP winner has been cast in the third season of CBC’s hit drama thriller, The Border. “I play the recurring role of Constance Meade, who is the Director of Intelligence and Detection for the U.S. Department of Homeland Security. For authenticity, we’ve been shooting my scenes in Washington! It’s a great role and show.” Williams joins Battlestar Gallatica/The Cleaner star — and fellow Canuck — Grace Park on the series. “You know you’re in the future when a Canadian show casts a Canadian as an American! It’s usually the other way around,” she laughs. Just don’t tell Tom Ridge, Tonya — he has enough problems. In between gigs, Williams will be attending next week’s Y&R fan club dinner. “It’s always a fun time,” she says. “Our fans are the best.” As for Olivia, Williams says she wouldn’t mind if her love-starved character is romantically paired with Paul Williams. “That’d be fun,” she adds. Just be careful not to tell Scott Hamner because he’ll tell Soap Opera Weekly that Y&R never planned to tell “an interracial storyline.” • Speak of the devil: Whatever you do, do not, I repeat do NOT, miss Doug Davidson’s (Paul) unbelievably riveting performance today when Mary Jane reveals herself to her brother! It’s the performance of Davidson’s career. Awesome work, Doug. Who knew?

• It looks like Y&R is sparing us from stabbing ourselves to death: Eva Marcille (Tyra) and Jamia Simon Nash (Ana) are reportedly out for good. Thank God for small miracles.

• What’s in a name? Emmy winner Bryton, the artist formerly known as Bryton McClure before he ditched his last name all together, is now going by the name of Bryton James to honour a deceased family member, Y&R confirms. In related news, I’m now going by the name of Nelson Jolie-Pitt.

• Is this a recast or a love interest for Noah? Or both? According to Digest and Weekly, Leven Rambin (ex-Lily/Ava, AMC) may have been approached by Y&R to test for a new role named Daisy, a student with a complicated past. Boy, does Y&R have an AMC fetish or what? Hey, I’m not complaining — I love me some Rambin.

• Miss Victoria Rowell (ex-Dru)? Bring me the bitch that doesn’t! Click here for my latest interview with the superstar. Read what the New York Times best-selling author has to say about recent rumours about her returning to Y&R, who walked her “up” the aisle when she wed artist Radcliffe Bailey, and her reaction to Devon banging his “aunt,” Tyra.

• In story 411, Mary Jane kidnaps Paul; Adam coaches Ashley on lying to her shrink; Billy fights for Chloe’s heart; Lily realizes she doesn’t trust Cane; and Nikki returns to town.

SOAP OPERA MYSTERY HOUR: This week’s hottest blind items
—Which east-coast ingénue throws her vast fortune in the faces of her colleagues?

—Which east-coast actor’s wife has a restraining order against her hubby?

—Which daytime diva asked to be let out of her contract because of her lack of screen time over the last several years but the producers refuse to accommodate her request?