The Suds Report - March13/09

SUDSIEST QUOTES OF THE WEEK:
“This is really funny. I know you are not going to believe this, but I really have a hard time playing bitchy scenes with women. [Later] But, I am not like a bitchy woman, or jealous of women. I like women. I have women friends. I have a hard time going there.”
—Michelle Stafford (Phyllis, Y&R)  to Michael Fairman’s On-Air On-Soaps
Translation: I’ve learned my lesson.

“I’m thrilled where we are right now. I think Forrester Creations has a whole new, fresh feeling.”
—B&B executive producer/head writer Brad Bell in Soap Opera Digest in a feature called “Fearless Leader” written by Devin Owens
Translation: That extra dose of incest really worked its magic.

“I loved when Pam covered Donna in honey and let in the bear. That you don’t see everyday.”
—Bell to Digest
Translation: Because soap fans — gay men and straight women — love that kind of stuff.

All My Children, A/ABC — Kaye re-signs! NuScott cast! • Poor Forbes March (ex-Nash, One Life, ex-Scott)! Cameron Mathison (Ryan) clone Adam Mayfield is joining the soap as Scott Chandler, Stuart’s MIA son. He first airs on April 9. • NY Daily News columnist Carolyn Hinsey talked to Thorsten Kaye (Zach) regarding his re-signing with AMC. “I re-signed because I think we can still do a good job over there,” Kaye tells her. “As long as I feel I can help the show, I want to stay.” That said, he adds, “You always want to leave the stage while they’re still clapping.” Hinsey adds cryptically that Kaye preferred not to comment on the length of the contract. Meanwhile, a source tells Soap Opera Digest that head writer Chuck Pratt has mapped out Zach’s story until 2011.

• Miss Rebecca Budig already? Well, don’t fret because Mrs. Guiney is back on March 19 when Ryan watches a DVD Greenlee made in case she drowned in a river wearing a veil. I always hate when that happens!

• At this week’s Broadway Cares event, Tamara Braun (Reese) and Eden Riegel (ex-Bianca) took my breath away when they walked into the pressroom. The gorgeous and stylish gals were in fine form and told the audience that Rianca will get their happy ending very soon. Yep, it doesn’t look like Braun and Riegel will be sticking around Pine Valley for much longer, kids.

As for why Braun and Riegel didn’t submit their names for Emmy consideration for All My Kids (Braun is pre-nominated as outstanding supporting actress for her recent turn on DAYS as Ava), the actresses explain to the Suds Report that they simply felt they weren’t on the soap long enough to merit a nomination. I disagree.

As The World Turns, Global/CBS — Where in the world is Eileen Fulton?
• If you’re missing your yearly Eileen Fulton (Lisa) fix, you’re not the only one. The daytime diva suggests fans write into CBS and TeleNext. “I don’t know,” she writes on her website. “I throw my hands up in the air and all I can implore you is to write [the show].”

• Story shocker: This week, Parker marries Liberty! No joke. Isn’t it funny how this teen couple always beats Nuke to the punch?

• Another recast alert: Chaunteé Schuler has left Brooklyn as Bonnie. The show is looking for a new actress for the part.

The Bold and the Beautiful, CTV/CBS — Tylo is still the queen of tabs
• Hunter Tylo (Taylor) hasn’t met a real-life scandal she couldn't star in. According to TMZ, Tylo took out a restraining order against her boyfriend, Corey Cofield, claiming he abused her children last year; but she has recently reconciled with her beau.

• B&B issued Joanna Johnson’s first airdates for her eagerly awaited comeback as Karen Spencer: April 28 and 29. I’m kind of excited to see what head writer Bradley Bell has up his sleeve.

Days of our Lives, Global/NBC — Foreshadow much?
• Looks like Tony DiMera will be killed off in yet another Salem murder mystery. This week, Tony learns the truth about baby Sydney, giving Nicole a perfect motive. Knowing Dena, Nick Fallon will return to finish off the DiMera.

• Congrats to Martha Madison (ex-Belle) who booked a part on Criminal Minds. She plays Kate on the April 29 episode.

• What do you guys think of a possible Hope-and-Rafe coupling? I’m kind of digging the possibility. Galen Gering (Rafe) could definitely give Peter Reckell (Bo) a run for his motorcycle rights.

General Hospital, CTV/ABC — Emma Samms returns
• Emma Samms is the new Finola Hughes (ex-Anna). According to EW.com, the former Dynasty star returns as Holly Sutton for May Sweeps. As most fans have predicted, Holly is Ethan’s mother. Question is: who’s the father, Luke or Robert? The smart money is on Luke since Tristan Rogers (ex-Robert) is persona non grata over at GH.

• Hurray! Carolyn Hennesy (Diane) tells the Suds Report she landed “a supporting role” in Courteney Cox Arquette’s ABC pilot, Cougartown. “Courteney is just beautiful,” the Spirit winner reports.

• Scared your favourite actors will get the boot? Call GH’s comment line to voice your opinions at 323-671-4583.

• Fan favourite Jacklyn Zeman (Bobbie) gave an eye-opening interview to Soap Opera Source recently. She told the website, “A few years ago, I asked the-powers-that-be if we could do a romantic storyline for Bobbie and was told that our audience doesn’t want to see old people kissing. I disagree with this conclusion.” Me too, Jackie.  

• Anthony Geary (Luke) was in surprisingly good spirits when The Suds Report spoke with the actor at this week’s Broadway Cares event. The Emmy winner made the most out of his New York trip by seeing Shrek on Broadway.

• Soap newcomer Drew Garrett debuts on April 24 as a SORAS’d Michael Corinthos.

• Rumour has it that ABC is changing its various contract policies. Actors who agree to go on recurring status will be treated as if they are on contract. Buzz is that Emmy-winning trifecta Geary, Steve Burton (Jason) and Maurice Benard (Sonny) are banning together as a package deal to ensure their safety and salaries. If I was Nancy Lee Grahn (Alexis), I’d join the boys.

• Rumours are swirling that GH is toying with the idea of romantically pairing Patrick with Elizabeth, if Rebecca Herbst’s contract negotiations go according to plan. That’ll go over well with the Scrubs fans!

• Miracles do happen in Port Charles! Megan Ward (Kate) kind of won me over when Kate broke it off with Sonny. In fact, Ward stole the scene from Benard and Sarah Brown (Claudia). Not bad.

• One of my favourite Aussies, Tristan Rogers, weighed in on Monavie-gate recently. He wrote on his website: “It’s one thing to sell a product to John Q. Public. There is nothing implicit in this arrangement other than the product is what it is and does nothing more or less than what it is advertised to do. It’s another thing altogether to sell the same product to a group of people who look up to you, and perhaps worship the ground you walk on. When dealing with people at this level, it is most important that you are not seen to be ‘selling’ something. Rather, the product is presented in a sincere way and it is presented for what it is.”

Rogers continues: “Personally, I have friends who use this product and swear by it. They say it has helped them overcome certain problems. Current scientific findings say it has no detrimental effects on the body. Meaning it won’t hurt you. But it won’t do what it is claimed to do either. The final decision must be made by the consumer, who makes the decision, free and clear, and not because it was hawked by a celebrity.”

Well said, Tristan.

Guiding Light, Global/CBS — Springfield goes on the road • Lawrence Saint-Victor (Remy) may just be able to pay his rent this month. The sexy actor booked an Ugly Betty gig airing March 19.  • Looks like Marcy Rylan (Lizzie) and Daniel Cosgrove (Bill) aren’t the only actors celebrating Mardi Gras at Universal Studios. On March 21, GL will hold an autograph session along with appearing in the Mardi Gras parade. Several actors are confirmed, including Kim Zimmer (Reva), Robert Newman (Josh), and Grant Aleksander (Phillip).

• No one can ever call John-Paul Lavoisier (Rex) a hair model because he’s pretty much bald these days. After Shane is diagnosed with leukemia, Rex shaves off his highlighted hair to support his son. The team player tells The Suds Report that he offered to chop off his luscious locks for the storyline, as did his real-life girlfriend, Farah Fath (Gigi). One Life wisely turned down Fath’s offer.

• Executive producer Frank Valentini runs a tight ship. The soap is so ahead of schedule that beginning today, the studio is dark until March 23.

• Leave it to One Life to steal the spotlight at Broadway Cares this past week. Kassie De Paiva (Blair), Kathy Brier (Marcie), and Mark Lawson (Brody) blew everyone away with their pipes. The others? Not so much. Lawson was the big surprise of the night. He sang one of Broadway’s toughest songs, “Anthem”, from the musical Chess and killed it. Even Simon Cowell would be impressed.

Hopefully next year, Broadway Cares won’t cater to the soap stars’ tone-deaf egos. There’s only one thing I hate more than bad acting, and that’s bad singing. May I suggest that stars who can’t sing opt for a comedy sketch or a trapeze act instead?

• Head scribe Ron Carlivati managed to surprise me once again this week. I admit I was a little concerned when I heard about this week’s teen carnage involving Shane, Cole and Matthew, but the storyline turned out pretty amazing (I’d kill for a soap to stage a car accident involving a stranger; that’d be a unique way of introducing a new character to its canvas). If you ask me, Robin Strasser (Dorian) and Chris Stack (Michael) were definitely the standout performers this week.

With the exception of the drug storyline, One Life is the master at pacing its plots and stories. I wish One Life would consult with Y&R, because the Katherine storyline is about a month too long.

Speaking of Carlivati, I’m dying to find out which episode he’s planning to submit for 2009 Emmy consideration. His best choice would be either one of the two 40th anniversary episodes, or a show from the rapemance fallout. I wouldn’t want to be in his shoes because the choice will be a tough one.

• If it’s One Life’s goal to make me fall in love with Nora and Bo all over again, it’s working.

• Confession time: I’ve secretly hated Marty for some time now. Party Marty, she wasn’t. Ever since she’s hooked up with Wes, she’s become a selfish and miserable shrew. Luckily, Marty has remembered her love for her son, Cole, and is easier to take these days.

Moreover, I have to say I really liked the promising chemistry between A Martinez (Ray) and Susan Haskell (Marty). Maybe Ray has found his Eden.

• I caught up with the beautiful and talented Melissa Fumero (ex-Adriana) at Broadway Cares. The Spirit Award winner reports she has no plans to return to One Life at this juncture. Too bad, because I’d much prefer Adriana causing havoc in Gigi and Rex’s life instead of this sociopath stripper Stacy.
 
Passions update — Does the S in CSI stand for Soap?
• On April 9, real-life husband and wife Justin Hartley (ex-Fox) and Lindsay Hartley (ex-Theresa) will guest on CSI. Good thing, too, because I miss the Hartleys. A lot. Which makes me want to ask why a soap hasn’t cast Lindsay yet?

The Young and the Restless, Global/CBS — Phyllis catches Sharon kissing Billy!
• Is there an echo in here? On April 22, CSI welcomes its fourth soap star when Thad Luckinbill (JT) plays the son of Craig T. Nelson's character.

• Not again! This week, Katherine gives up trying to prove she’s a Chancellor and plans to leave Genoa City after her latest DNA test returns with disappointing results. Also, Phick fans are going to love it when Phyllis catches Sharon and Billy in a lip lock.

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Nelson Branco is a Toronto freelance entertainment journalist, who regularly contributes to Hello! Canada, The National Post, The Los Angeles Times' theenvelope.com, TV Guide USA, tvguide.com, Inside Entertainment, OUT, and fab magazine, along with spearheading the soap coverage for TVGuide.ca's popular daytime TV hub. After graduating from Ryerson University in 1997, he moved from Toronto to New York in 1998 to take on the roles as senior news editor at Soap Opera Update. Branco first freelanced for Soap Opera Weekly as an intern in 1994, and after leaving Soap Update to help create and launch Bauer Publishing's In Touch Weekly in 2003, Branco continued to freelance occasionally for its sister publication, Soaps In Depth. Most recently, he helped create and launch Canada's first celebrity magazine, Weekly Scoop in 2005 as its news and entertainment director. Branco is also a contributor to a new TV show titled Planet Soap to air in Canada and America.