SUDSIEST QUOTES OF THE WEEKEND
“Question most often asked of me? Do you think John-Paul Lavoisier’s pec implants are real. I would like to swap lives with … Robin Strasser’s dog. Person on my show I’d call if I needed bail money? Kristen Alderson. She carries 15K with her at all times.”
—One Life’s last comic standing Tuc Watkins in Soap Opera Weekly’s “Just Asking” feature
Translation: I have absolutely nothing in common with my character.
“There’s that guy who had his boyfriend cut off his penis and then cooked it and ate it.”
—GH’s James Franco to TV Guide Magazine’s Michael Logan when asked the degree of narcissism in Franco
Translation: I’m so gay.
“Jason is a master assassin who’s murdered a lot of people and gotten away it, which is very attractive to Franco. He likes that danger. [Long thoughtful pause] There’s an underlying sexiness to that … if that’s what you’re getting at. Yes, there’s a underlying sexiness to that connection.”
—Franco later in the same interview when pressed if his character is sexually attracted to Jason
Translation: He’s so gay.
“Just judging from the script, because Schuyler had that major breakdown and shot the police commissioner, I kept asking people, ‘This is the kind of stuff that happens before you write someone off, right?’ I wasn’t working for two, three weeks. I was about to sign a lease on an apartment and I kept asking, ‘Is everything cool?’ and everyone would say, ‘You’re fine. They’re just trying to figure out how to get your character out of jail.’ Then, [executive producer] Frank Valentini called me and said, ‘Yeah, we couldn’t figure out how to do that.’ I said, ‘Dude, I wish you would’ve told me earlier. I just signed this lease!’ I had to pay some penalties and I got out of my lease, but I’m still grateful to One Life.”
—B&B’s Scott Clifton on his last days of his Emmy-nominated stint on One Life
Translation: Moral of this story? Never take out a lease on One Life!
WEEKEND SUDS FLASHES
Stacy Haiduk out at Y&R!
• Sources close to Soap Opera Spirit Award winner Stacy Haiduk have confirmed that she has been let go from the show (yes, the talented and popular star was our blind item last week). But insiders hint we may not have seen the last of Patty. So why was Haiduk fired considering the actress quickly became one of the most entertaining and biggest promotional draws on the show since joining Y&R in 2009? Speculation is that focus groups didn’t respond to the ill-conceived Emily despite their unconditional love for Patty, who was written into a corner, er, psych ward. Too bad, I was just starting to like Emily’s angry and snarky new demeanour. Despite her firing, expect to see Haiduk at the Daytime Emmy Awards this Sunday.
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• Poor Kristen Alderson! Last Friday night, Brandon Buddy tweeted that he has decided to not renew his contract with One Life. Since Cole is Patrick and Marty’s son, we bet the role will be recast at some time. Unless, Cole learns he has prostate cancer and dies suddenly.
In possible related news, World Turns’s Evan Alex Cole recently tweeted that he’s auditioning for a contract role on One Life.
• Wanna catch up with that spitfire Leven Rambin? TV Guide Canada caught up with the former Daytime Emmy-nominated AMC ingénue to promote her new show, Scoundrels. |
• The reason why most of the DAYS Emmy nominees chose less than stellar reels, and not their best work? Insiders point the blame at co-executive producer Gary Tomlin, who reportedly made the judgment calls. “He got most of us nominations,” defends one thankful yet less-than-optimistic actor. “But probably prevented us a win.” In related news, I’m teaching a “How to Pick a Winning Emmy Reel” at the Learning Annex for Emmy idiots next year. One Life’s head scribe Ron Carlivati has already enrolled (despite his win in 2008).
• Did you catch former Guiding Light hunk Frank Grillo’s new summer series, The Gates, last night on ABC? Congrats Frank! TV Guide Canada recently spoke with Mr. Wendy Moniz here.
SUDS POLL
Who should win 2010’s Best Younger Actor Emmy? Click here to vote.
—Drew Tyler Bell (Thomas, B&B)
—Dylan Patton (ex-Will, DAYS)
—Drew Garrett (ex-Michael, GH)
—Zack Conroy (ex-James, GL)
—Scott Clifton (ex-Schuyler, One Life)
Editor’s Note — Some readers are having trouble accessing our polls on Firefox, so use Safari instead
THE IDIOT RATINGS — June 7-11, 2010
Winners: Voyeurs tune in for B&B’s sexy romp! World Turns lures more eyeballs! WTF — AMC is ABC’s top-rated soap!
Losers: DAYS in last place year-to-date!
Numbers are based on Live+Same Day ratings
(Compared to Last Week/Compared to Last Year)
Total Viewers
1. Y&R 4,962,000 (-10,000/+188,000)
2. B&B 3,069,000 (+89,000/+43,000)
3. DAYS 2,567,000 (+17,000/-249,000)
4. AMC 2,426,000 (+67,000/-93,000)
5. GH 2,412,000 (same/-222,000)
6. OLTL 2,376,000 (-12,000/-219,000)
7. ATWT 2,273,000 (+119,000/+64,000)
Households
1. Y&R 3.6/12 (+.1/+.2)
2. B&B 2.3/7 (+.1/+.1)
3. DAYS 1.9/6 (same/-.2)
4. AMC 1.8/6 (same/same)
4. GH 1.8/5 (same/-.1)
4. OLTL 1.8/5 (same/same)
7. ATWT 1.7/5 (+.1/+.1)
Women 18-49 Viewers
1. Y&R 1,041,000 (-84,000/-45,000)
2. GH 818,000 (+22,000/-63,000)
3. DAYS 687,000 (-5,000/-162,000)
4. OLTL 683,000 (-31,000/-125,000)
5. AMC 603,000 (+26,000/-99,000)
6. B&B 595,000 (+5,000/-69,000)
7. ATWT 449,000 (+3,000/-46,000)
Women 18-49 Rating
1. Y&R 1.6/11 (-.1/same)
2. GH 1.2/8 (same/-.1)
3. OLTL 1.0/7 (-.1/-.2)
3. DAYS 1.0/7 (same/-.3)
5. AMC 0.9/6 (same/-.2)
5. B&B 0.9/6 (same/-.1)
7. ATWT 0.7/4 (same/same)
REMOTE CONTROL — The triumphs! The malfunctions! And the crimes against soap humanity!
> PLAY:
All My Children — A lesbian scorned
It’s too early to judge the earnest Christina Bennett Lind as nuBianca, but sometimes you just know if an actor is the right fit for a role from the word, “action.” Yes, this isn’t just any role. And yes, Lind isn’t replacing just anyone. Lind has the Herculean task of wearing the designer Birkenstocks of beloved Emmy-winning superstar Eden Riegel, but so far, the theatre vet is doing a very good job and I’m impressed. Wisely, Lind is making the Sapphic role her own by adding a less naïve, harder edge to the nicest and meekest character on soaps. After what Reese put Bianca — and us — through, this new character dimension certainly makes sense and is dearly welcomed.
>> FF:
As The World Turns — A final whodunit?
Will someone please do Oakdale a favour and puh-lease murder the insufferable, moustache-twirling Craig? As much as I loved Jon Lindstrom on GH and Port Charles, the miscast actor will never be Craig Montgomery — Emmy nomination or no Emmy nomination. The good news is that we at least have the incomparable Liz Hubbard back on our screens even if the Emmy winner is supporting this excoriating painful story surrounding some annoying, illegitimate kid I want to put in a flying balloon. Hurry, Mary Beth Evans!
> PLAY:
The Bold and the Beautiful — When life hands you lemon bars …
Whoa — score another one for head writer Brad Bell, who delivered another shocking cliffhanger this past Friday. Not only did Aggie (why do I feel gross every time I say that name?) tell Nick the truth that Bridget cheated on him with Owen, but Stephanie turned the tables on her enemy, Stephen, and shot him after the natural born loser failed to convince an un-medicated Pam to kill Stephanie. “Say hi to Beth,” Stephanie said before the screen went black and she pulled the trigger a second time at the stunned Logan patriarch! Wowza. Yes, this surprisingly enthralling storyline does remind me of two past B&B plots: Who Shot Stephanie? and the time Stephanie begged Brooke to commit suicide by handing her a pistol. But it works because it’s slightly karmic and psychological on many levels. B&B may not be Shakespeare, but it is sure is fun to watch again.
> PLAY:
Days of our Lives — The prodigal Hortons
With DAYS’ ratings struggling a bit, let’s hope this past week’s mega-returns of old faves for Alice Horton’s upcoming funeral boosts the ratings this week. So far, I’m digging John Martin as nuBill as this soap prepares to bury Alice suds feet under. The soap vet is sexy and talented — and could easily be kept on the canvas as a romantic leading man for Kate, Vivian or Maggie. I’m also loving those nosey cats, Doug and Julie, interfering in Sami and Will’s lives. The real tragedy here is that all these nostalgic comebacks are short-term.
<< REW:
General Hospital — Lie to me
Remind me never to cross Carly Jax! Her revenge plot against Dante and Lulu is inspiringly evil. But psychologically, this is vintage Carly. Instead of the guilty mother taking the blame for her son’s murderous actions for raising him with a mobster instead of a rich family of dysfunctional Quartermaines, Carly’s in denial and unfairly projecting. But it works. When Carly, who has been hailed as one of the most authentic liars in the soap world (“I even surprise myself,” she says, “I’m so good”) lies, the formidable Laura Wright proves over and over again how multi-dimensional, charming, and skilled she is as an actor. I doubt even Lie To Me’s Tim Roth could bust Carly!
> PLAY:
One Life To Live — Coming of age
Welcome back, Tuc Watkins! To me, the show is undeniably hard to watch and sadly unrecognizable right now thanks to an attack of younger and newer characters, but thanks to our beloved David’s latest hilarious comeback, I’ve been reluctantly tuning back in. Last week, when Matthew broke up with Dani (score one for Destiny!), David’s solution to Matt’s romantic woes was to take his teenage brother out on the town with a couple of hookers (where’s Y&R’s Sharon Newman when you need her?)! Heck, where was David when I was a heartbroken 16-year-old? Seriously though, what could have been an offensive, irresponsible story decision surprisingly wasn’t thanks to the funny dialogue and the infectious performances involved. In fact, the scenes actually turned out very sweet. Asa Buchanan would’ve been proud of David and Matthew. Finally, why doesn’t David Vickers have his own web soap? Tuc Watkins could sell oil to the Atlantic Ocean.
<< REW:
The Young and the Restless — Foster child
Thankfully, Y&R didn’t forget one if its loose story threads hanging out there in the tapestry of the show when it came to Jill’s ambiguous parentage. After her adoptive mother, Liz (the phenomenal Julianna McCarthy) unexpectedly died, Jill’s brother, Snapper (the impressive David Hasselhoff) revealed to his sister that she is Lauren Fenmore’s sibling (good luck with that, Jill). While I’m not sure if I really buy this out-of-the-blue revisionist history, what I did buy was Jess Walton’s untouchable performances last week. Scrupulously attentive to the nuances of Jill’s pain and confusion, Walton effortlessly imbued every gesture with the values of craftsmanship and respect for quality that everyone in daytime TV should study. |
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Yes, I can wax poetic all day on how the eminent and admired Emmy winner’s enigmatic talents are axiomatic. Whenever she’s on screen, and handed a meaty storyline to devour, I forget I’m alive (which is a miracle for someone who suffers from mild ADD) — and watching an often-time silly daytime soap. Moreover, this proclaimation of respect and love is coming from someone who was never really a diehard Jill Abbott fan (often finding her character perversely one-dimensional, especially in the hands of Brenda Dickson).
But ever since the infectious vixen learned she wasn’t Katherine’s daughter, Jill surprisingly grew up. Consequently, I finally like and respect the mercurial character. And subsequently, Walton is now able to colour her indelible performances with a more artistic brush and canvas.
Naturally, kudos are also in order for her partner-in-crime, the eternally divine and energetic Jeanne Cooper, for aptly supporting Walton during these crucial, emotional scenes. My only gripe is that I wish Y&R fleshed out Liz’s “manicured,” contradictory justifications for lying to Jill and Katherine that they were daughter and mother. Ideally, there should have been a beat played where Liz defended her actions by explaining to Jill and Kay, “You’ve hated each other for so long that I thought if you believed you were related, you would finally learn to forgive and love each other, which is why I did what I did.”
Regardless, I enjoyed every minute of watching Jill bittersweetly begin to find out who she really is. Only then, can Jill love herself unconditionally and realize her true destiny.
THE NELSON RATINGS
Can’t watch all the soaps this week? No worries — here’s a cheat sheet!
Top 4 Soaps to Watch:
1. The 37th Annual Daytime Emmy Awards, CBS
2. Days of our Lives, NBC/Global
3. General Hospital, ABC
4. The Bold and the Beautiful, CBS/CTV
Top 3 Storylines to Watch:
1. Salem Mourns, DAYS
2. Vanilla Sluts, B&B
3. Dante’s Cove, GH
Top 5 Actresses to Watch:
1. Katherine Kelly Lang (Brooke, B&B)
2. Susan Flannery (Stephanie, B&B)
3. Alley Mills (Pam, B&B)
4. Sarah Brown (Aggie, B&B)
5. Christie Clark (Carrie, DAYS)
Top 5 Actors to Watch:
1. Jack Wagner (Nick, B&B)
2. Tuc Watkins (David, One Life)
3. Patrick Duffy (Stephen, B&B)
4. Michael Muhney (Adam, Y&R)
5. Steve Burton (Jason, GH)
Top 4 Duos to Watch:
1. Luke and Reid, World Turns
2. EJ and Sami, DAYS
3. Todd and Téa, One Life
4. David and Matthew, One Life
Top 3 Partners-In-Crime:
1. Johnny and Kristina, GH
2. Téa and Blair, One Life
3. Oliver and Brooke, B&B
Top 3 New Duos to Watch:
1. Tucker and Ash, Y&R
2. Maggie and Victor, DAYS
3. Daniel and Abby, Y&R
Top 3 Couples to Fast-Forward Through:
1. Lisa and Steven, GH
2. Lisa and Patrick, GH
3. Ashley and Neil, Y&R
Top 3 Rivals:
1. Sonny vs. Johnny, GH
2. Kate vs. Madeline, DAYS
3. Lily vs. Molly, World Turns
Top 3 Love Triangles to Watch:
1. EJ/Sami/Rafe, DAYS
—tie— Reid/Luke/Noah, World Turns
3. Molly/Holden/Lily, World Turns
Top 3 Soap Magazine Covers (based on art direction):
1. Soap Opera Digest: GH’s Vanessa Marcil Returns!
2. Soap Opera Weekly: Storyline Shockers!
3. CBS Soaps In Depth: Will Y&R’s Lily Die?
Top 3 Best Reads/Buys at the Newsstand:
1. Soap Opera Digest
2. Soap Opera Weekly
3. CBS Soaps In Depth
Top 3 Soap Moments To Watch:
1. Wednesday: Salem learns Alice Horton died on DAYS. And a doughnut wasn’t to blame this time. Whew.
2. Tuesday: Reed who? Kelly “Tognoni’s” Todd’s mouth on One Life. “Why can’t anyone find me a suitable love interest? First GL, and now One Life … I’m a freakin’ two-time Emmy winner, damn it,” huffs Gina Tognoni.
3. Friday: DAYS’s Carrie advices Sami to make a decision between Rafe and EJ. “Because your life love worked out so well. Jealous much? I’ve got two hunks chasing me for a change,” laughs Sami.
Want to dish the soaps with Nelson Branco? Join The Suds Report discussion group today on Facebook.
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Nelson Branco is a Toronto freelance entertainment journalist, who regularly contributes to Hello! Canada, The National Post, The Los Angeles Times' theenvelope.com, TV Guide USA, tvguide.com, Inside Entertainment, OUT, and fab magazine, along with spearheading the soap coverage for TVGuide.ca's popular daytime TV hub. After graduating from Ryerson University in 1997, he moved from Toronto to New York in 1998 to take on the roles as senior news editor at Soap Opera Update. Branco first freelanced for Soap Opera Weekly as an intern in 1994, and after leaving Soap Update to help create and launch Bauer Publishing's In Touch Weekly in 2003, Branco continued to freelance occasionally for its sister publication, Soaps In Depth. Most recently, he helped create and launch Canada's first celebrity magazine, Weekly Scoop in 2005 as its news and entertainment director. Branco is also a contributor to a new TV show titled Planet Soap to air in Canada and America. |
