SUDSIEST QUOTES OF THE WEEKEND:
“Good question. When I got the call about coming back, I said, ‘Tell me how you’re gonna get outta this one!’ They said, ‘You got any ideas?’ I’m, like, ‘Nooooope. Not a one. That why I act and you write. So what’s your pitch? Cause I ain’t got nothin’!’
—Rebecca Budig to TV Guide Magazine’s Michael Logan on her conversation with head writer Chucky Pratt Jr. when she agreed to return to All My Children
Translation: So when the story sucks, head writer Chuck Pratt can blame me, Eden Riegel-style!

DAYS is so good right now! I shouldn't tell you this, but when I got my scripts, I was sitting in traffic on my way to Biggest Loser literally tearing through the pages. It was like, ‘Don’t look down, don’t look down — Ah, but what does it say?’ So dangerous, and my husband is a cop. I was like, ‘I'm going to be in so much trouble!’
—Alison Sweeney to MSN.com
Translation: I was hoping to accidentally run over Crystal Chappell but to no avail!

“We had a nice conversation. He’s always been very complimentary of me. The first time he met me, he said, ‘You’re really doing a great job.’ And I think he appreciated that I didn’t try to pick up where he left off.”
—Trevor St. John on meeting Roger Howarth in Soap Opera Digest
Translation: And then he tried to kill me screaming he wanted his job back!

“I have to admit Dorian, this is impressive. The gay banner is well hung.”
One Life’s David to Dorian on her mayoral banner
Translation: Just like that actor on Desperate Housewives!

WEEKEND SUDS FLASHES:
Crystal Chappell returns to New York for GL’s finale fan club event
• Otalia fans were over the moon when Crystal Chappell showed up to join her Venice co-star Jessica Leccia at GL’s weekend fan club luncheon.
• Emmy-winning actress and future web series show runner Martha Byrne tells Soapgeist that she has added Margaret Reed (ex-Shannon, World Turns) to her première episode of Gotham! For more teasers, see Michael Park and Byrne dish about Gotham life right here.
• Emmy winner Tamara Braun tells Digest’s Stephanie Sloane that in addition to Saving Grace, she booked a gig on the new drama, Three Rivers. Check out the fun interview on page 76.
• Future Emmy nominee, Alison Sweeney will guest on Ellen this Wednesday. Check local listings, soapers!
• So close yet so far: Former AMC and DAYS stud Matthew Borlenghi’s role as Valentin (love the name) on GH has been postponed due to all the last-minute casting on the show. Who else is psyched to see Borlenghi in a kick-ass role?

TOP 10 COUNTDOWN
<< REWIND: WHY YOU NEED TO MOVE TO SALEM, USA PERMANENTLY

10. Ken Corday doesn’t micro-manage NBC’s lone soap anymore — and it shows!
9. If you are missing Passions, show runner Gary Tomlin took the best parts of it, actors like Lindsay Hartley and Eric Martsolf, and transplanted them into Salem minus the intersexuals.
8. From Jay Kenneth Johnson to Galen Gering, DAYS boasts the sexiest men on the boob tube.
7. The unlikely yet inspiring convenient marriage between rivals Kate and Stefano has surprisingly stolen the show! Add in Victor’s one-liners, and you’ve got the making of a Cocoon-inspired love/sex triangle!
6. Although Kristian Alfonso and Peter Reckell have become the matriarch and patriarch of the show by default, their recent marriage woes have made the super-duo surprisingly exciting to watch. I’m itching with anticipation to see how the Carly/Bo/Hope/Justin quadrangle develops.
5. The younger crowd can act! Stop the presses. The teen set on DAYS is the most promising since the Last Blast crew.
4. Hands down, the underrated Suzanne Rogers has become the quintessential supporting actress in the business.
3. Richard Culliton is proving (like his wife Carolyn, who is editing at One Life) to be one of the finest scriptwriters in the business.
2. Thanks Thorsten Kaye: James Scott is not only drop-dead gorgeous but he’s also as equally as talented as some of the best older actors in the business.
1. We’re not in Springfield anymore: Watching the most beautiful, popular, and talented actor in the business, Crystal Chappell, work her magic as Carly Manning on DAYS is a little surreal but it’s also a welcomed treat.

PODCAST OF THE WEEK
Mimi Torchin’s hit Venice Podcast!

Former Soapgeist columnist and Soap Opera Weekly’s founding editor, Mimi Torchin’s first Venice podcast was one of the most listened to shows on Blog Talk Radio. Torchin will be hosting the weekly V-cast each week. Head over to Venicetheseries.com to hear Crystal Chappell and Jessica Leccia dish Otalia, DAYS and Venice.

QUESTION OF THE WEEK
Why are soap stars desperate to keep their jobs when daytime TV is dying, and yet back in the ‘80s and ‘90s when soaps paid stars huge paycheques, they couldn’t wait to leave the business?

INTERVIEW OF THE WEEK
Robin Strasser celebrates 30 years on One Life by chatting with The Advocate’s Michael Fairman

VIDEO OF THE WEEK
DAYS’s Lawrence to Carly:  “And I married a total bitch!”
War of the Roses, who? I can’t get enough of DAYS flashbacking to Carly and Lawrence’s deadly struggle. “I can’t believe I married a total monster,” screamed Carly before Lawrence slaps his wife. “And I married a total bitch,” retorted Lawrence in his final moments. Brilliant. How smart is DAYS for pulling a Lost and flashbacking to what really led up to Lawrence’s murder? I’m addicted.

 

PICTURE OF THE WEEK
Is that shoulder taken? Hear Carolyn Hennesy roar on Cougar Town

 

VIDEO OF THE YEAR
Y&R’s Kitty True Soap Story — The funniest video you’ll see all year

 

THE IDIOT RATINGS
Winner — DAYS is still King!
Loser — Viewers send a message to Y&R!

Sept. 28 - Oct. 2, 2009

Courtesy of Soap Opera Network

Total Viewers
1. Y&R 4,964,000 (-314,000/+25,000)
2. B&B 3,261,000 (-125,000/-324,000)
3. DAYS 2,903,000 (+39,000/+397,000)
4. GH 2,635,000 (-35,000/-310,000)
5. OLTL 2,465,000 (+3,000/-29,000)
6. AMC 2,448,000 (-74,000/+67,000)
7. ATWT 2,386,000 (-168,000/-346,000)

Total Households
1. Y&R 3.6/13 (-.2/same)
2. B&B 2.4/8 (-.1/-.2)
3. DAYS 2.1/7 (same/+.2)
4. GH 2.0/6 (same/-.3)
5. AMC 1.9/6 (-.1/+.1)
5. OLTL 1.9/6 (same/same)
7. ATWT 1.8/6 (-.1/-.2)
 
IMAGINARY CONVERSATIONS — On the set with One Life To Live
Executive producer Frank Valentini gathers his cast and crew on the set for an impromptu meeting

Frank Valentini: OK guys, I assembled you all here to discuss that nasty rumour that One Life To Live will be cancelled in 2010. I just want to say that I just spoke to our god, Brian Frons, and he assured me that the best show on daytime, General Hospital, er, One Life will never ever be cancelled.
[Cheers from the audience]

Yes, Fronzie — as only I can call him because despite what has been previously reported I am his love child, unlike Bob Guza and Chucky Pratt — lied to everyone when Daytimeconfidential.com reported that All My Children would be moving to Los Angeles, but he maintains a decision wasn’t made until the minute he told everyone that day, so DC.com is the enemy. We are in tough times, my flock, we need to shoot the messenger — even if they are right 99 per cent of the time! When was the last time a low-rated soap, which we were last week, ever been cancelled? Well, Guiding Light, Generations, Santa Barbara, Port Charles, Loving, and Passions were all accidents! We’re going to be stingy with our publicity because we can afford to. We’re going to focus on giving exclusives to a magazine sold for a dollar and that no one reads! No, we can!
[Cheers from the audience]

Yes, Nelson Branco only confirmed what Daytimeconfidential.com first reported months ago from other sources, but we will still ignore his warnings. 
[Cheers from the audience]

Yes, he first broke that Guiding Light was going to be cancelled back in November of 2008, and he was right, but we will not take his sources seriously. We will not do what Friday Night Lights did — and publicly come out and urge everyone to watch our show — instead, we will ignore the truth and hope for the best! Because we're morons!
[Cheers from the audience]

Yes, ABC saved a show that is grossly over budget and is critically maligned for a show that comes in under budget yet refuses for us to come further under budget AND MAKING US FURTHER PROFITABLE by NOT moving us to L.A. and convert us to HD, but we will not be cancelled. And yes, health care reform is socialism and the war on Iraq was merited! God bless, America.
[Cheers from the audience]

And Hillary B. Smith and Bob Woods love working together, damn it!
[Crickets]

SUBLIMINAL MESSAGES OF THE WEEK
Watch One Life or die!

• You are about to get sleepy, very sleepy … Listen to me very carefully: If you are reading this, you will watch One Life To Live every single day and never turn it off. If you don’t, I will print nude pictures of Brian Frons and Ellen Wheeler every week until One Life’s ratings beat GH and AMC permanently.

Meanwhile, Llanview lovers need to become proactive so start writing in to the following addresses to make your voices heard. Also, listed is AMC’s contact information to demand head hack Chuck Pratt’s firing.

ABC Daytime:
Comment line (voicemail): (818) 460-7477

Anne Sweeney, President, Disney-ABC Television Group
Email: Anne.X.Sweeney@abc.com

Brian Frons, President, Daytime, Disney-ABC Television Group
Email: brian.frons@abc.com; Brian.Frons@email.disney.com
Address: ABC, Inc., 500 S. Buena Vista Street , Burbank, CA 91521-4551

You can also directly send comments regarding any ABC Soap here.

All My Children:

AMC Comment Line: (212) 456-7777

Julie Hanan Carruthers, Executive Producer
Email: Julie.Carruthers@abc.com

Charles Pratt, Jr., Head Writer

You can write any of the stars or execs at this address:
All My Children, 77 West 66th St. New York, NY 10023

One Life to Live:

OLTL Comment Line (voicemail): (212) 456-3338

Main address to write to the stars:
One Life to Live, ABC Daytime, 56 West 66th Street, New York, NY 10023

WHAT HAPPENS IN SPRINGFIELD, STAYS IN VEGAS
Another chance to say ciao to your fave GL stars!

Following several sold-out Farewell Guiding Light fan events in Pittsburgh and Atlanta, Mike Gold has added a Las Vegas date. Appearances by 12 stars are scheduled for Saturday, Dec. 5, at the Rio All-Suite Hotel and Casino. Click here to find out more.

SOAP OPERA MYSTERY HOUR — This weekend’s not-so-blind item
—Which former executive producer kept the cast and crew from going back into the city from a location because she had to pick up the trash left behind from the shoot?

THE NELSON RATINGS
Can’t watch all the soaps this week? No worries — here’s a cheat sheet!

 
Top 3 Soaps to Watch:
1. True Soap Story: Y&R’s Kitty Exposed — YouTube
2. Days of our Lives, NBC/Global
3. One Life To Live, ABC

Top Show to Boycott:
1. All My Children, ABC/A
 
Top 3 Storylines to Watch:
1. Carly’s Deceptive Cruise back home, DAYS
2. Sydney’s future counselling bill, DAYS
3. Kitty’s paycut scandal, True Soap Story
 
Top 5 Actresses to Watch:
1. Crystal Chappell (Carly, DAYS)
2. Arianne Zucker (Nicole, DAYS)
3. Florencia Lozano (Téa, One Life)
4. Colleen Zenk Pinter (Babs, World Turns)
5. Tamara Tunie (Jessica, World Turns)
 
Top 5 Actors to Watch:
1. James Scott (EJ, DAYS)
2. Eric Braeden (Victor, Y&R)
3. Michael Sabatino (Lawrence, DAYS)
4. Kitty, You Tube’s True Soap Story
5. Austin Peck (Brad, World Turns)

Top 3 Comic Geniuses to Watch:
1. Robin Strasser (Dorian, One Life)
—tie —Tuc Watkins (David, One Life)
3. Amanda Setton (Kim, One Life)
 
Top 3 Duos to Watch:
1. Carly and Lawrence, DAYS
2. Brad and Katie, World Turns
3. Todd and Tea, One Life

Top 3 Triangles to Watch:
1. Téa /Todd/Blair, One Life
2. Sonny/Olivia/Johnny, GH
3. Vienna/Babs/Henry, World Turns

Top 3 Guilty Pleasures:
1. Not having to watch AMC!
2. Eric Braeden’s “exclusive” press tour!
3. A humbled Helena Cassadine, GH

Top 3 Rivalries To Watch:
1. Téa vs. Blair, One Life
2. Dorian vs. Viki, One Life
3. Kate and Salem, DAYS

Top 3 Families To Watch:
1. The Cramers, One Life
2. The DiMeras, DAYS
3.  The Corinthos, GH

Top 3 New Duos To Watch:
1. Fish and Kyle, One Life
2. Layla and Cristian, One Life
3. Kate and Stefano, DAYS

Top 3 Duos To Avoid Like the Plague:
1. Steffy and Owen, B&B
2. Greg and Rachel, One Life
3. Marcus and anyone, B&B

Top 3 Recasts To Watch:
1. Eric Martsolf (Brady, DAYS)
2. Michael Lowry (Ross, One Life)
3. Lindsay Hartley (Ari, DAYS)

Top 3 Young Actors:
1. Eddie Alderson (Matthew, One Life)
2. Drew Garrett (Michael, GH)
3. Carmen LePorto (Jack, One Life)

Top 3 Biggest Wastes of Talent:
1. Carolyn Hennesy (Diane, GH)
2. Greg Rikaart (Kevin, Y&R)
3. Forbes March (Mason, World Turns)

Top 3 Most Improved Actors:
1. Lauren Koslow (Kate, DAYS)
2. Marie Wilson (Meg, World Turns)
3. Thom Bierdz (Phillip, Y&R)

Top 3 Hair Models:
1. Denise Vasi (Randi, AMC)
2. Jackie MacInnes Wood (Steffy, B&B)
3. Stephanie Gatschet (Madison, AMC)

Top 3 Soap Magazine Covers (based on art direction):
1. Soap Opera DigestY&R’s Eric Braeden out!
2. Soap Opera Weekly GH Casting Shockers/One Life's Jared and Natalie
3. CBS Soaps In DepthY&R’s Nikki/Victor/Ashley

Top 3 Best Reads/Buys at the Newsstand:  
1. Soap Opera Digest
2. Soap Opera Weekly
3. CBS Soaps In Depth

Cancellation Pecking Order: 
1. One Life To Live (Ed. note: Not deserved)
—tie — As The World Turns
3. All My Children

Top 3 Soap Moments To Watch:
1. Thursday: Y&R’s Lane renew their vows. “Let’s leave out the ‘in sickness and in health’ part this time around,” requests Cane. “Let’s replace it with ‘in good and in bad acting moments.’”
2. Thursday: Colour heads to Oakdale when Jessica returns on World Turns! “Drop it like it’s hot, bitches,” the legal eagle hollers.
2. Friday: World Turns’s Brad and Kate learn the sex of their unborn baby. “Thank God we used protection in real life,” says Terri Colombino.


 

 


 


Want to dish the soaps with Nelson Branco? Join The Suds Report discussion group today on Facebook.

Follow TV Guide Canada on Facebook! And follow Suds Report on Twitter!

Nelson Branco is a Toronto freelance entertainment journalist, who regularly contributes to Hello! Canada, The National Post, The Los Angeles Times' theenvelope.com, TV Guide USA, tvguide.com, Inside Entertainment, OUT, and fab magazine, along with spearheading the soap coverage for TVGuide.ca's popular daytime TV hub. After graduating from Ryerson University in 1997, he moved from Toronto to New York in 1998 to take on the roles as senior news editor at Soap Opera Update. Branco first freelanced for Soap Opera Weekly as an intern in 1994, and after leaving Soap Update to help create and launch Bauer Publishing's In Touch Weekly in 2003, Branco continued to freelance occasionally for its sister publication, Soaps In Depth. Most recently, he helped create and launch Canada's first celebrity magazine, Weekly Scoop in 2005 as its news and entertainment director. Branco is also a contributor to a new TV show titled Planet Soap to air in Canada and America.