The Soapgeist: Sept. 8, 2009
SUDSIEST QUOTES OF THE WEEKEND
“We didn’t change stories that we told or the relationships between the characters, all the good parts of what is soap opera that we brought with us. We just tried to look at how we could make those stories even closer for the audience.”
—GL show killer Ellen Wheeler to The New York Times
Translation: If there were Emmy Awards handed out for spinning lies, Wheeler would be the most awarded producer in Emmy history. Anyone who saw GL last year knows the Wheeler and company didn’t tell stories, which is what ultimately killed the show — not her “innovative’ guerrilla production model. If I never hear from this woman again, it will be too soon.
“The stuff that is coming up in the next couple of months is heartbreaking. Well, I can say that something tragic is coming up that affects a lot of people.”
—World Turns star Terri Colombino to Ourprattiville.com on her new storyline when she was promoting her new film, inmurders
Translation: And that’s just behind the scenes!
“I had a moment of, ‘Thank God its over,’ because it’s been hard. I was never a fan of the new format and production module, and trying to generate story, was tough. And Thank God for Olivia and Natalia. It was the only love story we had on the show, because every one of the other characters on the show seemed to hate each other and it was nasty. I think that is one of the reasons that story was so well-received by bible belters because it was a love story. We were thirsty for something like that.”
—GL’s Kim Zimmer in Michael Fairman’s Advocate.com column, SoapSide
Translation: I’m finally FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
COURTESY OF DAYTIMECONFIDENTIAL.COM
“Every soap opera tells at least one good murder story a year. Next week, the soap Guiding Light is the victim. There are several killers. In today’s New York Times, executive producer Ellen Wheeler says some comical things about how she has presided over the show’s death. But the truth is, as with Michael Jackson, the last person in the room is the prime suspect. Even though other doctors came and went, all giving Michael dangerous prescriptions, the police are investigating Dr. Conrad Murray.”
—The Hollywood Reporter’s brilliant Roger Friedman on a must-read summation on the senseless murder of GL
Translation: There is nothing mysterious about this cold-blooded murder.
“[Katherine Kelly Lang] has been a stalwart for us and she aced these shows. Had she not acted her heart out and given us the performance of her lifetime, which she did, we would not be here. It is such collaboration, but she came through for us like never before. Everyone was stellar, the writing was stellar, but Katherine shined like the sun. Having that moment with her was so terrific. We are always working so hard. She works on the first floor here and I work on the third, and we don’t have many moments together, and that one was just very special to share with her.”
—B&B’s Emmy winner Bradley Bell to Michael Fairman on how Katherine Kelly Lang’s performance as Brooke on his reel may have helped him finally take home the golden lady
Translation: Which is why she keeps holding my Emmy Award tonight — and kissing me! Too bad, she didn’t believe in the material or performance when it was her time to submit her best actress Emmy reel.
“There's a Springfield everywhere.”
—A CBS spokeswoman response to The Wall Street Journal after they noted that soap’s location has changed several times over the decades
Translation: Except on CBS — and in Springfield.
“I don’t want to take apart the body when the corpse isn’t cold.”
—Barbara Bloom, CBS head of daytime programming, declined to talk in much detail about the show’s end in the same Wall Street Journal story
Translation: Does anyone have any industrial soap I can borrow? My hands are still bloody.
WEEKEND SUDS FLASHES
Hunk-age on World Turns; Chisum gets Desperate; Emmy winner Guza honours DAYS!
• World Turns’s Katie is about to have a cockfight on her hands: Last Friday, The Suds Report hinted that Mark Collier (ex-Mike) could be returning to the show. Sources called Soapgeist over the weekend to say it’s pretty much a done deal. Joining Collier, according to fancast.com’s Sara Bibel, Paul Leyden (ex-Simon) will return to Oakdale around the same time. So far, both returns are reportedly short term. And with cancellation rumours getting louder, the “reportedly” part is pretty redundant.
• Which hot soap stud brought two female friends into his dressing room during lunch break and gave the entire studio quite the earful with relentless moans? When the break was over, the two women were seen leaving the building looking disheveled — and barely able to walk!
• More soap death: A’s brilliant entertainment news show, Soaps Up!, which aired in between airings of AMC and One Life, was cancelled last week. Amanda Wilson, we’ll miss you! However, I am forcing Wilson to contribute to Soapgeist and Suds Report whenever she has something to say. FYI: This fall, One Life will move to SunTV.
• Is [gulp] 2009 Emmy-winning GH head writer Bob Guza a secret DAYS fan? On a recent GH episode, one of our Facebook pals, Kevin Joseph Gaudet, noticed that Valerie Wildman’s (ex-Faye, DAYS) character’s name is Deidre Evans and her on-screen husband’s moniker is Drake Black!? Wouldn’t it be nice if Guza paid more attention to the history of his own show? However, good work Bobby!
• So that’s where Miles is hiding out! David Chisum (ex-Miles, OLTL) has been cast as the star of a T-Mobile online spinoff of Desperate Housewives. Chisum is the fourth One Lifer to join Marc Cherry’s prime-time sudser/franchise (along with Marcia Cross, Nathan Fillion and Tuc Watkins).
• Visit Michael Fairman’s website, On-Air, On Soaps, for several highly entertaining and informative Emmy red-carpet interviews. There are some juicy goodies included.
• Born again? Speaking of the mentally unhinged Laurence family — Is One Life’s Mitch Laurence returning? According to Daytimeconfidential.com’s Jamey Giddens, Roscoe Born has re-signed with one of his myriad alma maters. Soapgeist has learned that Born is currently spending the summer living in New York City with a former One Life co-star so that could narrow down which soap has signed the Emmy-nominated actor.
• Why did AMC’s Chrishell Stause tell Kevin Frazier on the Emmy red-carpet show that she was preparing to move to L.A. when her last tape date on AMC is in mid-December? Is she re-signing? Make up your mind, Chrishell! Who do you think you are — Cher?
• Not so fast: Even though Austin Peck filmed Brad Snyder’s death scene before the Emmys, he will still be taping until mid-September as Brad’s ghost. Word is that the cast plans on throwing a big farewell for Austin, but he’s not invited. Bitches. Will Peck re-join DAYS? “No,” says an NBC source. “He contacted us already and we declined.” More intel is coming in regarding why Peck was really fired. “Yes, the affair was the straw that broke the camel’s back but Christopher Goutman and the rest of the cast have been looking to fire him for a long time. There are other reasons why everyone hates Peck. But his affair with a certain beloved actress gave [us] our out.” Oh, the drama!
• Why didn’t the Day Emmys introduce Betty White (Ann) as a recurring B&B star and Colin Egglesfield (ex-Josh) as a former AMC actor when they presented?
• Stacy Haiduk’s (MJ, Y&R) decision to bring Kitty as her Emmy date was wise: The inter-species super-couple made the last page in Entertainment Weekly!
REMOTE CONTROL: DAYTIME EMMY AWARDS PRESS ROOM SPECIAL
<< REW: Outstanding lead actor
The Gold Standard — Y&R’s Christian LeBlanc’s hilarious and honest press room interview: “Three is more than two; two is less than three.”
> PLAY: Outstanding drama series
B&B’s executive producer Brad Bell: His unaired acceptant speech and his make-out session with KKL!
II PAUSE: The Guiding Light cast; Nuke diss the press — again!
TeleNext PR Alan Locher and Lisa Lugassy do it again! After informing the press that the GL cast — and World Turns’s Nuke, Van Hansis and Jake Silbermann — would come to the press room to answer our questions, at the last minute, they changed their minds! What gives? The Telenext soaps can’t afford to be picky about with their press.
>> FF: Outstanding drama series writing team — sans Bob Guza
Writers Elizabeth Korte, Michelle Val Jean, and Karen Harris: GH averts answering the show’s penchant for violence and why there aren’t more female head writers working in soaps. However, Val Jean did discuss the lack of black writers on daytime.
*For a complete video Emmy library of press room interviews and on-air acceptant speeches, my pal, Michael Fairman did a brilliant job compiling them all into an user-friendly page on his website, On-Air, On Soaps here.
COURTESY OF WELOVESOAPS.NET: Mauceri in gay film, I Think, I Do, co-starring Tuc Watkins (David, One Life)
QUESTION OF THE WEEK:
How do you tell if your actors are homophobic?
Answer: Watch this. FOX “News” interviewed former One Life actress Patricia Mauceri (ex-Carlotta) about her objections to the Kish storyline. The former recurring ABC actress even hints that she may consider suing the network for firing her due to her religious issues concerning Carlotta's reaction to “learning” that her son, Cristian, could be gay. Sue, Pat, sue. I’d like to see you win that case.
Here’s my question to Mauceri: For starters, not every religious person is a hateful, God-fearing prude. Also, Carlotta is Catholic, so how can Mauceri, who is a proud, born-again Christian, speak for us? And assuming every person who subscribes to the same religion shares the same hateful behaviour, what makes this nut job an expert on Catholic behaviour? My mom is a diehard Catholic, and she’s never had a problem with my sexuality. So there; you’re wrong, Patricia. And my mom’s sort of Latino, she’s Portuguese. It’s suspicious that Mauceri, who is rumoured to have visited a very famous serial killer in jail to help save his soul, can’t imagine a mother loving her son for who he is. FYI: Michael Malone fleshed out the unseen role of Carlotta by casting the actress. Mauceri didn’t create the role as she’d like us to think — writers did! Good luck, and good night, Pat. You need it. ABC doesn’t comment on personal matters and only had this to say: “We are not aware of any such claims that Ms. Mauceri has made and any such claims would be frivolous.”
HOT SHOTS OF THE WEEK:
B&B’s Brandon Beemer and DAYS’s Nadia Bjorlin just say, “NO” to Prop H8 —and “Yes” to nudity in Italian Vanity Fair. There is a God. And clearly, a Goddess!
Photo credit: Prop H8 Campaign by Adam Bouska |
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VIDEOS OF THE WEEK:
Bravo! Michael Fairman’s award-worthy uncut GL tribute!
Soap goddess Crystal Chappell’s (Olivia, GL) Part 2 of Venice sneak-peek interview:
Y&R’s creep-tastic promo: I see dead former hair models!
GUIDING LIGHT REMOTE CONTROL: RATING THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE UGLY
I’m tired of being angry at Ellen Wheeler and CBS and P&G and, at the moment, even the Republican Party, which of course has nothing to do with Guiding Light, but indirectly, I’m sure it had something to do with no sex or even a kiss for Otalia. Anger is exhausting and gives too much power to the object of one’s rage. I want to own my power. I want to enjoy the rare state of bliss I seem to be experiencing from out of the blue. For some reason these days I don’t want to be a fighter; I want to be a lover. Anger has left the building.
I especially want to love Guiding Light for the two short weeks it will still be a part of my life. I want to love it for the decades of great storytelling and memorable characters and emotional richness it has given me. I want to love it for the gift of friendship with many of its superlative actors that I hope will last long after it’s gone. I want to love it for the enormous role it has played in my professional life for 30 years. I want to love it because I do love it and, really, what good does it do at this point to fight that love? The fat lady has, for all intents and purposes, sung. Too late to ask her to change her tune.
So, let’s talk Olivia and Natalia (Crystal Chappell and Jessica Leccia, in case you just got dropped off in Utah by a spaceship after a several-year abduction and somehow stumbled upon this column while trying to email home), whose sexless, kiss-deprived love affair has been the root of all our anger and frustration for so many months. We had to accept the shocking demise of our beloved Guiding Light, whether or not it broke our hearts, as it was a fait accompli. And now, we have to accept the sexless state of our beloved Olivia and Natalia, too. Resistance is futile. The lighthouse keeper has packed his bags and gone home; the beam is on automatic pilot until the timer goes off on Sept. 18 and the light goes out forever.
But a funny thing happened to me during these last weeks. I started to love Otalia again for what they are, instead of resenting them (or more to the point, GL) for what they might have been. As Crystal promised us weeks ago and as is patently obvious at this point, Otalia as an enduring couple is the endgame of this story. After Natalia’s massive betrayal of Olivia, Olivia’s short-lived reluctance to re-engage with her was totally realistic. Natalia shredded her heart with a thresher and Liv had to protect what was left of it. But Natalia, her pregnancy notwithstanding, has come home with a renewed sense of dedication to win back Olivia and finally begin the first days of the rest of their lives together. I got a perverse satisfaction seeing Nat grovel and Liv keep her cool and her resolve. But I enjoyed the moment Olivia realized that life was too short for games and caution, stroked Natalia’s face and meltingly butted foreheads with her even more! It made my heart jump in a way that not one second of hardcore sex I’ve seen on the screen, big or small, ever has. Well, OK, there was that scene in The Hunger … but I digress. I believe that if GL was not ending in two weeks we probably (am I being a total Pollyanna?) would have gotten all the adult physical expressions of love we desire so much for and from these two gorgeous, grown-up, sexy women. But the string has run out, and no amount of wishing will make it happen in front of us. So, I’m going with the flow and letting my imagination and the promise of Venice fill in the blanks and carry me through. I’m looking forward to every day we have left with them and am eager to see the fruition of their love story in the time we have left.
Letting my anger go has also allowed me to revel in the superb writing and heart-wrenching acting as Phillip finally revealed to his family and friends that he is dying. What drama and pathos and classic soap opera tradition at its best this story has given us. Grant Aleksander (Phillip) has never been more impressive. Beth Chamberlin, Ron Raines, the increasingly wonder-inducing Zack Conroy, Tina Sloan (more about Tina next week), Marcy Rylan, Michael O’Leary and Marj Dusay have all had great moments and there will be more to come, especially from Ron and Grant, I think. I was spellbound by Doris’s (the phenomenal Orlagh Cassidy) revelation at last to her grown daughter, Ashlee (Caitlin Van Zandt) that she’s gay, a mind-altering secret she has kept from Ashlee all her life. Billy and Vanessa’s (Jordan Clarke and Maeve Kinkead) remarriage promises joy and tears for our memory book. And Kim Zimmer’s Reva, trying desperately to hang on to reality and live a whole, healthy life for her baby’s sake has been Kim in top form, which is about as good as it gets. By the way, even Frank (darling Frank Dicopoulos) is actually becoming the good man he really used to be before he became the giant buzz kill of the Otalia storyline. I could go on and on, but Nelson’s editor has her limits of patience (and who could blame her) so I’ll stop now. [Ed. Note: Thanks Mimi!]
You’ve been watching all this anyway and don’t need me to tell you how grand it’s been. I’m immersing myself in this huge group hug that the final days of Guiding Light has become. My secret is out: I’m a sentimental slob and proud of it. So, dear friends and, especially you loyal Otalia fans, try to let go of the anger that has been robbing us of the pleasure of these final, poignant days of a show that has meant so much to so many of us. I know you will be so much happier and, really, anger is just a self-defeating, draining emotion when the point of that anger really no longer exists. Don’t hate me for throwing in the towel. The fight was over long ago; we just couldn’t bear to lose the battle.
Fearless Prediction: On Sept. 18, a couple of million people are going to need a big hug, a shot of chilled Goose, a lot of chocolate and will be wishing that they had Ellen Wheeler to kick around for at least another couple of years.
Fearless Prediction #No. 2: The word on everyone’s lips will be Venice, and I’m not talking gondolas!
THE NELSON RATINGS
Can’t watch all the soaps this week? No worries — here’s a cheat sheet!
Top 4 Soaps to Watch:
1. One Life To Live, ABC/A
2. Guiding Light: The End Game, CBS/E!
3. The Young and the Restless, CBS/Global
— tie — General Hospital, ABC/CTV
Top 3 Storylines to Watch:
1. Carny Hell, GH
2. A Former Hair Model Dyes, er, Dies, Y&R
3. The David Vickers Diaries, One Life
Top 5 Actresses to Watch:
1. Martha Byrne (Andrea, GH)
2. Crystal Chappell (Olivia, GL)
3. Stacy Haiduk (Patty/MJ, Y&R)
4. Lesley-Anne Down (Jackie, B&B)
5. Colleen Zenk Pinter (Babs, World Turns)
Top 5 Actors to Watch:
1. Tuc Watkins (David, One Life)
2. Ron Raines (Alan, GL)
3. Billy Miller (Billy, Y&R)
4. Brett Claywell (Kyle, One Life)
5. Michael Graziadei (Daniel, Y&R)
Top 3 Comic Geniuses to Watch:
1. Tuc Watkins (David, One Life)
2. Robin Strasser (Dorian, One Life)
3. Lynn Herring (Audrey, World Turns)
Top 3 Duos to Watch:
1. Natalia and Olivia, GL
2. Johnny and Olivia, GH
3. Owen and Jackie, B&B
Top 3 Triangles to Watch:
1. Téa /Todd/Blair, One Life
2. Whip/Jackie/Owen, B&B
3. Deacon/Amber/Daniel, Y&R
Top 3 Guilty Pleasures:
1. Kitty jokes, Y&R
2. Anthony Zacchara, GH
3. Sharon’s stupidity, Y&R
Top 3 Rivals To Watch:
1. Téa and Blair, One Life
2. MJ and Victor, Y&R
3. Gigi and Stacy, One Life
Top 3 Families To Watch:
1. The Cramers, One Life
2. The Buchanan/Lords, One Life
3. The Chancellors, Y&R
Top 3 New Duos To Watch:
1. Fish and Kyle, One Life
2. Layla and Cristian, One Life
3. Annie and Scott, AMC
Top 3 Young Actors:
1. Drew Garrett (Michael, GH)
2. Eddie Alderson (Matthew, One Life)
3. Shenell Edmonds (Destiny, One Life)
Top 3 Biggest Wastes of Talent:
1. Lesli Kay (Felicia, B&B)
2. Elizabeth Hubbard (Lucinda, World Turns)
3. Carolyn Hennesy (Diane, GH)
Top 3 Hand Models:
1. Jackie MacInnes Wood (Steffy, B&B)
2. Caitlin Van Zandt (Ashlee, GL)
3. Texas Battle (Marcus, B&B)
The Most Passionate and Powerful Fan Base in the History of Soaps:
1. Otalia, GL
Top 3 Soap Magazine Covers (based on art direction): The Dead Edition!
1. Soaps In Depth — AMC’s David/Amanda/Gus: Jake Wants David Dead!
2. Soap Opera Weekly — GL’s Collector’s Edition; Death on Daytime!
3. Soap Opera Digest — GH: Someone Dies! Plus: Y&R’s Thom Bierdz’s confession!
Top 3 Soap Moments To Watch:
1. Wednesday’s Canadian Episode: Y&R’s Daniel interrupts Amber and Deacon’s wedding ceremony. “Brad Bell is offering you one billion dollars to re-join B&B,” announces Daniel.
2. Thursday: GL’s Lizzie hears the best news ever: “Please tell me that Ellen Wheeler won’t be allowed near a soap ever again?” asks Marcy Rylan.
3. Thursday: B&B’s Steffy and Thomas complain about their non-existent sex lives. “Maybe we should take an acting class,” says Steffy. “What’s that?” asks Thomas.
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Nelson Branco is a Toronto freelance entertainment journalist, who regularly contributes to Hello! Canada, The National Post, The Los Angeles Times' theenvelope.com, TV Guide USA, tvguide.com, Inside Entertainment, OUT, and fab magazine, along with spearheading the soap coverage for TVGuide.ca's popular daytime TV hub. After graduating from Ryerson University in 1997, he moved from Toronto to New York in 1998 to take on the roles as senior news editor at Soap Opera Update. Branco first freelanced for Soap Opera Weekly as an intern in 1994, and after leaving Soap Update to help create and launch Bauer Publishing's In Touch Weekly in 2003, Branco continued to freelance occasionally for its sister publication, Soaps In Depth. Most recently, he helped create and launch Canada's first celebrity magazine, Weekly Scoop in 2005 as its news and entertainment director. Branco is also a contributor to a new TV show titled Planet Soap to air in Canada and America.
