EXCLUSIVE BREAKING SUDS FLASH
Crystal Chappell to star in Venice!
By Mimi Torchin
I have a fantastic piece of industry news that I have the privilege and great joy to share with you. In light of what we have all shared in this column and in the vast Twitterverse that has connected so many of us in Otalia sisterhood, you might have an idea about what this announcement is. So, to end the agony of weeks of speculation, let me just say this: Crystal Chappell (Olivia, GL) confirmed to me that she will, indeed, be playing the lead role of Gina in Venice the Series, the eagerly anticipated web serial she is producing. Although it had always been her intention to play Gina, a gay designer and Venice’s central character, her return to DAYS as Carly threw a monkey wrench into those plans. But intense negotiations with the show moved forward and the outcome proved that someone at DAYS knows a smart decision when he makes it, as Chappell was just greenlit to star in her own show. Her legions of devoted fans will certainly follow her to DAYS, including hundreds of thousands of anticipated new fans for whom Venice will become a serious and lasting addiction. Soap-wise, this announcement is the best piece of news many GL fans will have had since the heartbreak of the soap’s cancellation by benighted CBS suits. Although the Springfield lighthouse will soon be gone, we’ll have a new daily destination for friends to congregate and share love, laughter, pain, joy and all the emotions of a life well-lived in Venice!
SUDSIEST QUOTES OF THE WEEKEND
“Well, don’t count him out. He’s probably just an ass man.”
—One Life’s Kim after that waste of space tells her BFF that Kyle didn’t even look at her breasts when Stacy came on to him
Translation: Or perhaps he has taste.
“To be honest, I think I have chemistry with everybody.”
—Movie star Gerard Butler promoting The Ugly Truth
Translation: Except with Crystal Hunt (Stacy, One Life).
“Tuna? Salmon?”
—One Life’s super-whore, Stacy, trying to remember Fish’s name
Translation: Maybe it was the mercury poison that killed my unborn baby.
“I know myself … and my selves.”
—Jessica responding to Brody’s concern if Tess is back on One Life
Translation: I’m a freakin’ wack-job.
QUESTION OF THE WEEK
DAYS: Who will accept the best show Emmy?
It’s been a long, arduous road but The 36th Annual Daytime Emmy Awards are finally airing Sunday, Aug. 30 on The CW. This could be the last Emmycast, so everyone tune in — or else! If you don’t, I’m going to print nude pictures of Barbara Bloom in this column. Seriously, the big question of the night will be: If DAYS wins best drama series, will Ed Scott and Dena Higley take the stage? Or will Ken Corday pull a solo act? FYI: DAYS’ submission reel included the work of Ed Scott.
WEEKEND SUDS FLASHES
Slezak re-signs! Goldin set to move to L.A.; Is Kamar joining Y&R as Sharon’s new lover?
• One Contract to Sign: 496-time Emmy Award winner Erika Slezak (Viki) has re-signed with the best soap on daytime. Reportedly, ABC asked her for a two-year commitment. Slezak tells her webmaster at erikaslezak.com: “I am very happy to be remaining with One Life to Live for the next few years — and am looking forward to good stories and lots of fun.” The best news? After a couple of years on the back burner, Viki leaps to the front burner when she goes head-to-head with Dorian for the top spot as mayor of Llanview (FYI: Viki held the position a few decades ago). Question: Who would vote for a woman with serious DID issues, or a diva with a criminal past? Oh, right — Republicans!
• L.A. Story: Ricky Paull Goldin (Jake, AMC) will be making the move out to the west coast, report insiders. On a related note, isn’t it funny how Beth Ehlers (Taylor) turned down the role of Y&R's Patty Williams in favour of AMC because she didn’t want to move to Los Angeles?
• Gays of our Lives: Afterelton.com posted their Top 25 Gay Characters on TV and World Turns’ Noah Mayer and Luke Snyder made the list. And so did my buddy, Degrassi: The Next Generation’s Adamo Ruggiero as Marco. By the way, I completely agree with Michael Jensen’s No. 1 and 2 picks. Let’s hope Kish make their mark on this list next year.
• Does Y&R's Rafe have an older brother? Rumours abound that Kamar de los Reyes (ex-Antonio, One Life) has joined Y&R. At press time, CBS had not returned Soapgeist’s calls for confirmation or a denial.
• Best news ever: Kathy Brier (Marcie, One Life) is headed back to Llanview. More details in Suds Report Friday.
• Suds Obit: Former GL radio announcer Jack Bivans' died at age 83 due to a stroke on Friday, Aug. 14, in a nursing home in Elkhorn, Wis. By the way, did you know that Canada played a big part in the serial’s genesis? Dr. John Ruthledge was based on the personality of Warren Moyer, a resident of Stouffville, Ont.
• What’s wrong with GH? Can you spare a decade? If not, read this astute GH analysis by Detroit Pop Culture Examiner Garrett Godwin.
CASTING COACH
He’s not related to Jane Campion, but he’s still worthy of a job!
Listen up, One Life and Y&R: If you’re thinking of casting or recasting a contract role, may we suggest super-handsome newbie, Kieran Campion, who showed a lot of promise as AMC’s D.A. Henry North before that hatchet job, Chuck Pratt, killed off the character after three minutes of screen time? If One Life is desperate, Campion would make a more believable Stacy recast.
EMMY CENTRAL
Who will win? Who will lose?
Theenvelope.com’s Tom O’Neil, daytimeconfidential.com’s Jamey Giddens, Luke Kerr and myself handicap the 36th Annual Daytime Emmy Awards here.
PICTURE OF THE WEEK — Thom Bierdz’s hot Out magazine shoot
Buy this month’s Out issue with Lady Gaga on the cover to read my story with the out gay actor! FYI: I had no intention of writing a gay story on the actor. Take that, Scott. |
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VIDEO OF THE WEEK — The Big Top comes to Port Chuck:
REMOTE CONTROL: RATING THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE UGLY
II PAUSE:
All My Children: I’m Erica Kane, Hear Me Whimper!
Are we really supposed to believe that Jesse jeopardized his law enforcement career by covering up evidence for Randi and hiding convicted Kendall in a secret room? Thankfully, Erica and Krystal's kooky African adventure kept my finger off the FF button for the entire week. Though Erica threatening a scorpion was a bit of a rip-off from days past when La Kane faced down a bear.
Big Screen Homework: Dial M For Murder, Notes On A Scandal, The Usual Suspects — or any good mystery/thriller movie
II PAUSE:
As The World Turns: The body is not even cold yet ...
Now that Holden’s “dead,” how much do you want to bet that Lily and Damian engage in grief sex? With this soap’s track record, Lily and Damian will wed in one month. There had to be a more believable way to pair smoking hot Noelle Beck and Paolo Seganti together than this predictable cliche.
Big Screen Homework: Edge of Seventeen, Beautiful Thing, Maurice, Mysterious Skin, Steam, Brokeback Mountain — or any good gay film
II PAUSE:
The Bold and the Beautiful: Beemer Squared
Just when you thought the show was getting better, now comes an “evil twin” story for Owen?! Though I would have preferred if Casper was the ugly twin just to see if B&B could turn Beemer into a frog. Regardless, let’s hope B&B commits to telling an in-depth storyline with the two Knights.
Big Screen Homework: The Devil Wears Prada, Valentino: The Last Emperor — or any good fashion film
>> FF:
Days of our Lives: It’s 1 p.m., do you know where your child is?
For the life of me, I don’t understand why this soap is obsessed with putting young children in peril (Grace, Ciara, Theo). Women — and especially mothers — do not want to see a child hurt or kidnapped. What they really want is to escape the real world and lose themselves in epic romance.
Big Screen Homework: Gone With The Wind, The End of the Affair, Bridges of Madison County — or any good romantic movie
>PLAY:
General Hospital: Like father, unlike son
Tom Pelphrey (ex-Jonathan, GL) who? It took forever but GH finally cast Sonny and Olivia’s son, Dominic. Newcomer Dominic Zamprogna is a good actor who can play anything thrown at him. Head writer Bob Guza was smart to make Sonny’s son an undercover cop because it provides this show with at least one organic conflict. But I’m not sure if Zamprogna has chemistry with Julie Marie Berman (Lulu) yet.
Big Screen Homework: Gran Torino, Bonnie and Clyde, Westside Story, Thelma & Louise — or any multi-generational, action film
Here’s something we’ve all experienced, more or less, I’m sure. You’re deep into foreplay, teasing and tantalizing, revelling in this feeling now, but so anticipating what’s to come next. You’re circling each other, breath coming shallow and fast, moving in for the coup de grace and … the phone rings, the answering machine comes on and after the beep, you hear: “Hello, dear. It’s mother. Are you there? Oh, I never know what to do on these things. (Pause) Well, just wanted to tell you that Aunt Mary died. It’s for the best, I guess, after all her suffering. Oh, and the cat fell off the roof and broke its neck. I know you loved Pussycat so much, but death is a part of life. Hmmm, what else? Dad’s prostate is acting up so he’ll have to have that awful exam again (she giggles inappropriately). Well, dear. I guess that’s all the news. Are you busy watching your story on tape? Hope I didn’t bother you.” (Click). Now where were we? Yeah, well, that’s pretty much what Natalia’s return to Springfield was like after Jessica Leccia’s month-long maternity leave. All that anticipation, all that foreplay interrupted by real life and somehow, when you and your beloved are finally face to face again, thud. You’ve just lost that loving feeling.
The fact that Natalia returned and sought out Olivia (Crystal Chappell) with an affect that implied she had just been to the hairdresser for a touch-up and now was home an hour later, all bright and shiny and ready for lovin’ (“Honey, I’m hooooome!”) instead of having ripped out Olivia’s heart by disappearing for weeks without a word on the day they were to announce their love to the world was probably more to blame than the interval itself for the absolute lack of heat and joy that her return and announcement to Olivia that “I want you” generated. I mean, did Natalia go to a religious retreat to search her soul (and make lace with the nuns), or did she go to Disneyland where she was turned into a smiling, automaton-like Stepford Wife? WTF, GL? Have your writers no heart, no brains? Is this what long-suffering Otalia fans deserve after all we’ve gone without for lo these many months, to finally arrive at this anticipated moment of reconciliation and release, and get this? This week of empty calories?
It didn’t help our love for Natalia that Chappell played Olivia’s disbelieving rage at her former beloved’s galling cluelessness with an Academy Award-worthy performance while Leccia was obviously directed to play Natalia with all the depth of Alvin the Chipmunk! And what does it say about the current potency of this once passionately drawn romance that my favourite line of the week was Liv telling Nat to “take your cookies and go home”? It might be telling you that the party is over, even if the cake hasn’t yet been eaten. As my Jewish grandmother used to say, “Feh.” No, GL, you haven’t completely lost me or probably many other Otalia fans, but you are going to have to do so much better than this to make it up to us and Olivia.
A few random notes. Kim Zimmer broke my heart, as Reva creepily surrounded herself with Jeffrey’s photos, donned her wedding dress and threw herself and her supposedly dead husband an anniversary party. Paging Mrs. Haversham … Yeah, she chewed, but she also excelled. Speaking of chewing, did the adorable Tom Pelphrey always overact this much? If I had been Olivia, I would have pushed that selfish, nasty little prick Rafe (EJ Bonilla) right over the side of that bridge on which he verbally assaulted her. Will somebody please send this boy to the Wizard to find a heart! Once again, Josh (Robert Newman) proved himself to be the greatest guy and most undeserved doormat in town in tender scenes with both Olivia and Reva. And everyone who wanted to kick in their TV screen when Olivia told Frank to fight for Natalia and marry her, raise your hand! Finally, why is Jeffrey not telling Reva he’s still alive? I must have been listening to my answering machine when he explained that sorry rationale.
Movie GL’s head writer should not have watched: The Children’s Hour
Big Screen Homework: Antonia's Line
—To purchase Mimi Torchin’s photography click here.
<< REW:
One Life To Live: Billy Douglas who?
While the show’s not perfect yet, One Life is easily daytime’s best soap again. One of the biggest reasons to tune in is to see soap newcomer Brett Claywell steal the entire show as the three-dimensional, scrappy gay, Kyle Lewis. My only beef is that Claywell and co-star Scott Evans (Fish) are not being played enough throughout the week. I want more Kish, damn it!
Big Screen Homework: Heathers, Stand By Me — or any good teen movie
>> FF:
The Young and the Restless: Hell Storm
Overnight, JT and Victoria's perfect marriage has unravelled. Y&R should have taken its time to deconstruct a love story we were forced to believe was unconditional. Having said that, it's nice to see Thad Luckinbill (JT) mix it up with the rest of the canvas instead of being marooned on storyline island.
Big Screen Homework: Raisin In The Sun — or any good black movie
THE NELSON RATINGS
Can’t watch all the soaps this week? No worries — here’s a cheat sheet!
Top 3 Shows to Watch:
1. The Daytime Emmy Awards, The CW
2. The Daytime Emmy Red Carpet Show, The CW
3. One Life To Live, ABC/A
Top 4 Storylines to Watch:
1. Soap Kish, One Life
2. Project David Vickers, One Life
—tie —Téa’s Big, Impossibly Handsome Secret, One Life
4. Big Purple Nightmare, GL
Top 5 Actresses to Watch:
1. Crystal Chappell (Olivia, GL)
2. Stacy Haiduk (Patty/MJ, Y&R)
3. Florencia Lozano (Téa, One Life)
4. Maureen Garrett (Holly, GL)
5. Lindsay Hartley (Ari, DAYS)
Top 5 Actors to Watch:
1. Brett Claywell (Kyle, One Life)
2. Tuc Watkins (David, One Life)
3. Doug Davidson (Paul, Y&R)
4. Trevor St. John (Todd, One Life)
5. Michael Lowry (Ross, One Life)
Top 3 Comic Geniuses To Watch:
1. Tuc Watkins (David, One Life)
2. Robin Strasser (Dorian, One Life)
3. Trevor St. John (Todd, One Life)
Top 4 Duos To Watch:
1. Frank Valentini and Ron Carlivati, One Life
2. Fish and Kyle, One Life
3. Natalia and Olivia, GL
4. Todd and Téa, One Life
Top 3 Triangles To Watch:
1. Téa/Todd/Blair, One Life
2. Society/Fish/Kyle, One Life
3. Schuyler/Gigi/Rex, One Life
Top 4 Guilty Pleasures:
1. Not noticing a difference in Y&R’s Summer’s behaviour after she was apparently “brain damaged”
2. The sexual innuendo/double entendres in One Life’s scripts
3. Jack’s lewd, crude and rude behaviour, One Life
4. Reading Soaps In Depth’s hilarious captions
Top 3 Rivals To Watch:
1. Téa and Blair, One Life
2. Matthew and his parents, One Life
3. Gigi and Stacy, One Life
Top 3 Families To Watch:
1. The Carlivatis/Valentinis, One Life
2. The Buchanans/Lords, One Life
3. The Cramers/Mannings, One Life
Top 3 New Duos To Watch:
1. Gigi and Schuyler, One Life
2. Layla and Cristian, One Life
3. Bill and Katie, B&B
Top 4 Young Actors:
1. Eddie Alderson (Matthew, One Life)
2. Drew Garrett (Michael, GH)
3. Shenell Edmonds (Destiny, One Life)
—tie— Carmen LePorto (Jackson, One Life)
Top 3 Biggest Wastes of Talent:
1. Erika Slezak (Viki, One Life)
2. Elizabeth Hubbard (Lucinda, World Turns)
3. Carolyn Hennesy (Diane, GH)
Top 4 Soap Criminals:
1. Chuck Pratt, AMC head writer
2. Crystal Hunt (Stacy, One Life)
3. Caitlin Van Zandt (Ashlee, GL)
4. Drew Tyler Bell (Thomas, B&B)
Top 3 Passionate Fan Bases:
1. Otalia, GL
2. Kishmet, One Life
3. Spixie, GH
Top 3 Soap Magazine Covers (based on art direction):
1. Soap Opera Weekly — Fall Preview!
2. Soaps In Depth — GH’s JaSam: Another Misleading Headline (Emmy Winner Leaving!)
3. Soap Opera Digest — Y&R’s Mary Jane Exposed!
Top 4 Soap Moments To Watch:
1. Sunday: Soap Opera Digest’s Stephanie Sloane, Daytimeconfidential.com’s Jamey Giddens and myself handicap the 36th annual Daytime Emmy Awards during the red-carpet show. “Kelly Monaco was robbed,” squeals Giddens.
2. Tuesday: Billy and Vannesa reunite on GL! “I miss the days when you did coke,” says a wistful Vanessa.
3. Canadian Wednesday Episode: Y&R’s Lily realizes Cane cannot be trusted. “Why are you calling out Paul Rauch’s name in bed,” the bald ingénue asks.
4. Friday: DAYS’ Daniel sets a trap for Kate. “Do you want to vacuum my super-hairy chest? If not, Michael Goldberg will do it for me,” offers Daniel Kasnoff.
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Nelson Branco is a Toronto freelance entertainment journalist, who regularly contributes to Hello! Canada, The National Post, The Los Angeles Times' theenvelope.com, TV Guide USA, tvguide.com, Inside Entertainment, OUT, and fab magazine, along with spearheading the soap coverage for TVGuide.ca's popular daytime TV hub. After graduating from Ryerson University in 1997, he moved from Toronto to New York in 1998 to take on the roles as senior news editor at Soap Opera Update. Branco first freelanced for Soap Opera Weekly as an intern in 1994, and after leaving Soap Update to help create and launch Bauer Publishing's In Touch Weekly in 2003, Branco continued to freelance occasionally for its sister publication, Soaps In Depth. Most recently, he helped create and launch Canada's first celebrity magazine, Weekly Scoop in 2005 as its news and entertainment director. Branco is also a contributor to a new TV show titled Planet Soap to air in Canada and America.
