The Soapgeist - July27/09

SUDSIEST SPIN OF THE WEEKEND:
“When Guiding Light was cancelled by CBS in April, we promised our fans we would do everything we could to find a new home for the show. In the ensuing months, we have engaged in serious discussions with many networks, leaving no stone unturned in our effort to place the show elsewhere. Unfortunately, despite the urgent and dedicated efforts of many people, we have not been able to secure an outlet to carry the show moving forward.

We are extremely disappointed with this outcome, but we are confident we have exhausted every possible option. While it’s hard to imagine Guiding Light coming to an end, we’re so very proud of the amazing feat the show has accomplished with an unprecedented 72 years on radio and television. The show has made an indelible mark on broadcast history that likely will never be repeated. We’d like to thank all the members of the cast and crew who have brought Springfield to life for the past seven decades.

The good news is we have some powerful stories planned during the show’s remaining months that will celebrate the show’s rich history. We continue to appreciate our fans around the world and are grateful for their unwavering support of the show. We hope our viewers will continue to tune in to be entertained and touched by the drama, the love and the family that is Guiding Light.
— TeleNext Media’s Brian T. Cahill, Senior Vice President and Managing Director, in a highly prepared statement regarding the future of GL
Translation: We did everything except fire the soap murderers we employed to kill the genre for the past five years. Currently, we’re in the process of moving them all over to World Turns to finish off the mission, suckers! Hopefully, President Barack Obama won’t call us “stupid.”

SUDS FLASHES:
Brown in; Rylan engaged; Smith sails to Venice; More blind items!
• More good news: Lisa Brown will be returning to GL as Nola before the show ends its run on Sept. 18. 

• Congratulations are in order for the adorable and oh-so-talented Marcy Rylan (Lizzie), who became engaged to the father of her unborn baby, Scripts & Scruples/Rockland County star Don Mooney, at her baby shower this weekend. In attendance were Gina Tognoni (Dinah), Kim Zimmer (Reva), and a bunch of hair and body models.

• Tweet, Tweet: Crystal Chappell (Olivia) wrote on her Twitter account that “my talented bud, Hillary B. Smith [Nora, One Life], will be joining Venice! She'll be playing the part of Guya.” Take that, Ellen Wheeler.

• Quando, Chando: Set sources tells Soapgeist that Emmy-nominated ingénue Alexandra Chando (ex-Maddie) is back on World Turns for several weeks to help flesh out Lynn Herring’s (Audrey) storyline. Good luck with that, Alex.

• Is Imaginary Bitches creator Andrew Miller courting Tristan Rogers (ex-Robert, NS/GH) for his highly anticipated second season of his 2009 Emmy-nominated web sensation? Our lips are sealed. Or are they?

• Correction: Billy Warlock (ex-AJ, GH) visited the One Life studios to hang out with his former DAYS co-star Bob Woods (Bo; ex-Paul, DAYS), and not real-life couple Farah Fath (Gigi) and J-P Lavoisier (Rex).

• Which superstar is “disgusted” over the writing on the show she helped build?

• Which “big changes” are headed to an east-coast show in the next month or so?

Video of the Week — Sponsored by welovesoaps.net:
DAYS Syllabus: The Best of Crystal Chappell

Picture of the Week —Sponsored by welovesoaps.net What came first — Joshua Morrow (Nick, Y&R) or the Soap Opera Digest cover?

DVD Pick of the Week: Sex and the Manhattanites Another reason to boycott SOAPnet: Roger Newcomb’s fantastic first feature film offering, Manhattanites, is just what the soap fan ordered. Starring a bevy of daytimers, including the likes of heavy hitters such as Forbes March (Mason, World Turns), Ilene Kristen (Roxy, One Life), and Aiden Turner (Aidan, AMC), Manhattanites, which was directed by Emmy winner Darnell Williams (Jesse, AMC), proves to be quite the admirable, entertaining first offering by the King of Soaps, Roger Newcomb. Buy it; it’s a colourful gem!

SPEAKING HER MIND
Exclusive interview: Mimi Torchin catches up with GL’s Maureen Garrett (Holly)
The fabulous Maureen Garrett, Holly to legions of Guiding Light fans, recently taped her farewell performances as her part in GL’s endgame. I spoke to my friend after she taped a few final scenes with Elizabeth Kiefer (Blake) and Crystal Chappell (Olivia), but hadn’t yet taped the scenes that will wrap up her 30 something-year storyline forever. This is happening Monday (tomorrow as I write, today as you read). It’s an ending she hopes the fans will find satisfying. I think you will. Garrett has been largely absent from Springfield for the last six years (she did make an appearance at Ross’s funeral in 2005), but spent the better part of her professional life (1976-1981; 1989-2003) playing the iconic Holly Norris, a woman who suffered through a battery of soap opera-heroine traumas, tragedies and life experiences including marital rape, alcoholism, the birth of a child with Down syndrome and mental illness — but ultimately triumphed and came out whole and sound in the end.

Holly, perhaps more than any other female character on the show, experienced many things that the women in her audience had also lived through, if you don’t count (among other “adventures”) fleeing for her life from her lover through the jungles of South America; and kidnapping, Pied Piper-like, all the children in town during a psychotic break of epic proportions! Her long-running, on-again/off-again romance with Roger Thorpe, played by the late and extraordinary Michael Zaslow, was one of soapdom’s most dramatic and popular. Roger was not by any stretch of the imagination “a good man,” but he was a fascinating, complex one and his love affair with the steel butterfly, Holly, struck an enduringly responsive chord with the viewers.

Maureen (I’m dropping this journalistic convention of last names and since she has been one of my nearest and dearest for two decades!) had quite a bit to say after shooting in GL’s new cost-cutting atmosphere. And she didn’t mince words.

“Oh my God,” she exclaimed. “It was astounding, the working situation at Guiding Light. The actors are reduced to something like automatons. There’s no connection between the citizens of Springfield [when they’re not in scenes together].” She goes on to clarify her observations, words flying like birds let out of a cage. “You do not see the other actors. There are no rehearsals, no monitors on which to watch the action. Actors are led from hair and makeup to a kind of holding pen. Then they’re guided through the maze of pieces of sets to their spot. That ‘leading me from one place to the other’ was the only direction I received! Then, when you get to your mark, there’s no room to move, so there’s no blocking. The cameramen with their handhelds squeeze past you. You stand there and say your words, which immediately go onto tape. And that's it. You are led out of the maze. Complete isolation. Scenes are only one page long to make up for lack of movement within the scene.” She stops to draw breath, and then says sadly, “If this is the wave of the future, I am so glad I spent my time in the ‘classical era.’ It’s amazing what the actors manage to produce under these conditions. My hat is off to any actors who can build story, a genuine connection in this new media. It bears no resemblance to what was before. And that’s the way it goes.”

I ask her how she felt when she heard that Guiding Light had been cancelled? “Well, of course I felt terrible,” she says. “I’m sad that it’s over. But we knew it was coming; the threat has been hanging over everyone’s heads for so many years that I guess it was time.” But even though she feels the loss of the soap that for so long was her home, the death of the process grieves her more. She simply can’t stop talking about it.

“If this is the future (for soaps), as an actor, it really concerns me. There’s no director, no time, no spontaneity. If this is what has to be done to save the form, I think there’s room for debate about trying to preserve the process, too. You can’t really create connections or foster ‘chemistry’ without the work. I know some actors manage to somehow still do that, but not everyone has that skill, or even that natural, undeniable chemistry.” She reminds me about the theatre company she created within GL for actors who wanted to do stage work, even including some actors from other shows. “I went the complete other way when I was here the last time. I created an affiliate theater company because I just feel the process, for lack of any other word, is invaluable. As actors, we need that.” She sighs, “We’re losing the genre, the narratives. I guess we have them at night now in shows like Nurse Jackie.”

Of course when she thinks of her own character’s “narratives,” she thinks one in particular was the apex. None of us would be surprised to hear what it is. “The whole Roger/Holly saga was so richly layered with love and hate. It was just so much fun to play, so full of challenges and emotion. Michael [Zaslow, Roger] was the ultimate acting partner. He always pushed me to be better, to give more. The connection between the characters was palpable, electric.”

If Roger and Holly were the zenith, what was the nadir, her lowest point on the show? She doesn’t hesitate, “Oh, what absolutely did me in was when Holly fell in love with her abuser, Sebastian (Doug Hutchison). I was asked to do a lot of things over the years I was on the show that I didn’t particularly love, but it was my job to play them. But this was too much. I just couldn’t bend any more; I couldn’t fulfill the terms of that story.” She goes on to explain what she found so ultimately offensive. “It was insulting, insulting that this character (Holly) had come no further, that she was made to regress to that point of degradation. That was the end for me.” And for many of us, as well. I hated that story with a vengeance. It disgusted me.

As her final thought about the dimming of the light, fans of the Olivia and Natalia romance will be happy to hear what Maureen says about the story, completely unsolicited, by the way. “I have to say that it’s owing to the long-overdue lesbian storyline and the incredible work of Crystal (Olivia) and Jessica (Leccia, Natalia) and [due to the fact that the] story has been able to catch fire. There’s so much buzz about it. It’s the only story I ever hear anyone talking about.”

And what does she think accounts for the “show’s” reluctance to show any real, sexual physical contact between Olivia and Natalia, especially after All My Children already opened that door? “Beats me,” she answers. “I’m completely baffled. I hear there are males kissing and having sex on As the World Turns, so it can’t be CBS’s decision, can it? No one seems to understand.” Join the club, my friend; join the club.
Fearless prediction: Maureen Garrett joins the cast of Venice as Holly, a feminist activist and a counsellor for abused women. Maybe she’s an ex-lover of Gina’s, maybe not!

REMOTE CONTROL: RATING THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE UGLY

>> FF:
All My Children: New Pratt mystery — Who killed dancing?
Did you catch Adam trying to dance the other day? And Adam’s goofy grin? Is this Stuart? And does anyone care? Or is this David Canary’s way of saying he’s still got it? I swear if it wasn’t for the innocent charms of Ricky Paull Goldin (Jake), Michael E. Knight (Tad) and Chrishell Stause (Amanda), I’d delete this show from my DVR.
Fearless Prediction: Lorraine Broderick returns as head writer.

II PAUSE:
As The World Turns: Someone fall off the wagon, puh-lease!
Kudos are owed to Emmy winner Maura West for her fine work during Carly’s intervention, which, by the way, was the finest hour World Turns has aired this year. Having said that, since West has travelled down to her southern regions, she has taken the show with her. A few more gripes: No one loved Noelle Beck more than me on Loving, but I’m often distracted by her suspicious decision to play Lily Snyder like a vapid and spoiled Hamptons trophy wife. Personally, I prefer Martha Bryne’s edgier and sassier version instead. Also, it’s too bad World Turns didn’t watch Desperate Housewives this past season to see how they brilliantly and organically used the current economic recession to mine new character-driven storylines and relationships. Rosanna’s recent financial predicament feels more like a lazy, black-and-white plot twist instead of a serious look at what truly defines a person.
Fearless Prediction: World Turns announces a weekly “Inside the World” episode each Thursday. Thanks David Kreizman!

II PAUSE:
The Bold and the Beautiful: Gay for pay!
Who said there weren’t any gay characters on B&B? This past week, four gay cubs posed with cougar extraordinaire, Jackie M, for a photo shoot! I may not be here all week, but I certainly am today! And thank the goddess for Rick Hearst (Whip): the Emmy winner single-handedly prevented me from entirely fast-forwarding through an extremely painful week of B&B. Memo to that hypocrite Steffy — are you listening to yourself? It’s official: the wrong twin sister died in that infamous car accident.
Fearless Prediction: Whip admits he has a crush on Oscar. Or Owen. Or Stunt Hubby. Or Brandon Beemer!

>> FF:
Days of our Lives: Men in the formal closet
Life in Salem is pretty perfect these days, but I do have one major issue (other than this Chloe-Daniel-Kate mess): why do all the young adult male characters on this sudser have to adorn stuffy, age-inappropriate suits? Phillip and EJ look like they should be testifying in front of the U.S. Supreme Court (though James Scott’s suits are stunning and look like they cost more than a Ken Corday golf vacation!), but I digress. Loosen up, boys! I know you’re running major corporations, but it wasn’t too long ago that you graduated from high school and university. Sometimes less is more.
Fearless Prediction: Nicole tells EJ she’s leaving him if he doesn’t learn how to trim his chest hair properly. 

> PLAY:
General Hospital: Mr. Teschner’s Neighbourhood
This kills me to say but GH’s latest car crash wasn’t as bad as I originally expected. In fact, this plot stunt was one of the most realistically produced auto smash-ups I’ve seen in a long while. But who stole the show? That’s easy — Aaron Refvem (Morgan). Welcome to daytime, you talented little rascal. Refvem cries better than his old mama, Tamara Braun (ex-Carly). And here’s some unsolicited advice: don’t swallow the Acai berry, Aaron; hide it under your tongue when you’re forced to eat it and spit it out when you’re playing video games in your dressing room.
Fearless Prediction: Lisa LoCicero (Olivia) teaches Maurice Benard (Sonny) how to properly kiss a woman.

>> FF:
Guiding Light: The mourning after; exes with benefits?
By Mimi Torchin
http://www.mimitorchinphotography.com/
Since my interview with Maureen was the main thrust of this column, I only have a few comments to make about last week’s episodes. Let me begin by saying again how unhappy I am with the direction Mallet’s (Rob Bogue) character has taken during the murder of the Edmund look-alike storyline. His absurdly, single-minded pursuit of the culprit — culminating with his accusation of his wife (Marina, Mandy Bruno) and refusal to believe her when she swears she didn’t do it — has completely destroyed a once sweet and wonderful guy. He should be worried about protecting his family and the citizens of Springfield from the still-living monster, Edmund. What a travesty.
Fearless prediction: Mallet can’t find his head. Someone turns him upside down and finds it up his [butt]!

I didn’t have any emotional connection with Jeffrey’s memorial because I don’t think, as you know, that he’s dead. I guess it was nice to see Ava (Michelle Ray Smith), but I’ve never been a big fan of Ava’s so it was a minor thrill. As for Reva (Kim Zimmer), the grieving widow, this character has cried those big shuddering tears so often (even when she gets a paper cut) that they now cease to move me. Also, her self-centred rant that she didn’t get to say goodbye was so self-indulgent. The guy used his supposed last seconds on earth to call her and say goodbye. Get over yourself, Reva. It just wasn’t the event it was meant to be in my opinion.
Fearless Prediction: You know. He’s not dead.

I love the outdoor scenes on the show; I hate most of those indoor shoots. They are so claustrophobic and are uncomfortable to watch. It feels like the actors, no matter how good, are acting inside a box. It seemed more pronounced last week for some reason, maybe because there have been so many outdoor scenes to compare it with. Or perhaps it’s just the cumulative effect finally getting to me.

I don’t have much of an opinion about Olivia’s binge, but here’s a thought: Because we love Liv we want her to be shown in the best possible light all the time. But, really, a woman going through all the things she’s going through might just indulge herself in a little drinking and potato chip binging. I liked the scenes with Josh (Robert Newman) and wouldn’t have even blamed her if she had made out with him a little (no sex, please; she’s taken). They have great chemistry, he’s sexy as hell, he’s her ex-husband so it’s not new territory and he’s been a good friend to her. But she didn’t. She remained true to herself and her love, hard as that “love” is making it for her to do so. Also, she wasn’t sloppy, just a little inebriated. It’s human. She was also funny. Chappell can play anything and make it work — even eating chips in the bathroom.
Fearless Prediction: Potato chip sales unaccountably go through the roof. Rush Limbaugh says they’re the “devil’s food” and calls for them to be banned in the real America.

—To purchase Mimi Torchin’s photography click here.

> PLAY:
One Life To Live: Yep, he’s straight! Straight to bed, that is …
So far, Officer Oliver Fish’s sexual struggle has been realistically written. A guy who has a tendency to brag about a women he has yet to sleep with, immediately dubbing her his girlfriend and parading the unlucky woman around like she’s armour, is definitely hiding something. Also, the writing team should be commended for not making Layla an idiot (hello, World Turns’ Maddie, Y&R’s Nina) in this coming-of-age tale.
Fearless Prediction: Fish is outed when Layla finds his Sex and the City collection — and Andrea Evans (ex-Tina) posters.

II PAUSE:
The Young and the Restless: The reason why Daniel is hanging out in the prison showers!
Yes, the Amber-Deacon “rape” storyline is gross. This isn’t the first time head writer Hogan Sheffer has tried to sell this garbage. The Emmy winner penned an exact replica when he worked on DAYS featuring EJ and Sami. I get it: it’s passive-aggressive rape, but it’s still a violent crime in my eyes. Having said that, Sean Kanan (Deacon) and Adrienne Frantz (Amber) do ooze undeniable, liquid-hot chemistry (isn’t that always the case, they argue). In fact, their coupling reminds me a little bit of Victor and Nikki, but did Y&R have to resort to the lowest common denominator, à la DAYS and One Life? Didn’t they learn their lesson with Paul and Christine? In happier news, welcome back, Sean! I bet Brad Bell is drinking up a storm when he catches you on his sister-in-law’s show. Especially when Y&R references Amber and Deacon’s complicated past on B&B — and the dirty bad boy’s penchant for “phone” sex.
Fearless Prediction: Chance comes clean to Chloe: he’s still a virgin because the soldier used to work for TeleNext/P&G!

THE NELSON RATINGS
Can’t watch all the soaps this week? No worries — here’s a cheat sheet!
 
Top 3 Soaps to Watch:
1. One Life To Live, ABC/A
2. The Young and the Restless, CBS/Global
3. Days of our Lives, NBC/Global
 
Top 3 Storylines to Watch:
1. Two Weddings and A Banner, One Life
2. Is It Kishmet?, One Life
3. Nicole Unravels, DAYS
 
Top 5 Actresses to Watch:
1. Tricia Cast (Nina, Y&R)
2. Lynn Herring (Audrey, World Turns)
3. Crystal Chappell (Olivia, GL)
4. Catherine Hickland (Lindsay, One Life)
5. Suzanne Rogers (Maggie, DAYS)

Top 5 Actors to Watch:
1. Sean Kanan (Deacon, Y&R)
2. Rick Hearst (Whip, B&B)
3. Michael Muhney (Adam, Y&R)
4. James Scott (EJ, DAYS)
5. Forbes March (Mason, World Turns)
 
Top 3 Comic Geniuses To Watch:
1. Robin Strasser (Dorian, One Life)
2. Trent Dawson (Henry, World Turns)
3. Michael E. Knight (Tad, AMC)
 
Top 3 Duos To Watch:
1. Sami and Rafe, DAYS
2. Bo and Nora, One Life
3. Spinelli and Maxie, GH
 
Top 3 Triangles To Watch:
1. Téa/Todd/Blair, One Life
2. Layla/Fish/Kyle, One Life
3. Sonny/Olivia/Johnny, GH
 
Top 3 Guilty Pleasures:
1. Y&R’s Mary Jane’s stuffed cat, Kitty
2. Hunter Tylo (Taylor, B&B) flashbacks
3. Y&R making sense out of B&B’s past plot messes
 
Top 3 Rivals to Watch:
1. Téa and Blair, One Life
2. Jill and Kay, Y&R
3. Annie and Erica, AMC
 
Top 3 Families to Watch:
1. The Cramers, One Life
2. The Buchanans, One Life
3. The Chancellors, Y&R
 
Top 3 New Couples to Watch:
1. Fish and Kyle, One Life
2. Johnny and Olivia, GH
3. Tad and Taylor, AMC
 
Top 4 Young Actors:
1. Drew Garrett (Michael, GH)
2. Shenell Edmonds (Destiny, One Life)
3. Carmen LePorto (Jack, One Life)
—tie — Eddie Alderson (Matt, One Life)

Top 3 Biggest Wastes of Talents:
1. Lesli Kay (Felicia, B&B)
2. Elizabeth Hubbard (Lucinda, World Turns)
3. Carolyn Hennesy (Diane, GH)
 
Top 3 Hair Models:
1. Caitlin Van Zandt (Ashlee, GL)
2. Bonnie Denison (Daisy, GL)
3. Thom Bierdz (Phillip, Y&R)
 
Top 3 Passionate Fan Bases:
1. Otalia, GL
2. Kishmet, One Life
3. Phick, Y&R
 
Top 3 Soap Magazine Covers:
1. Soap Opera Digest — Y&R’s Nick Proposes Yet Again!
2. Soaps In Depth — GH’s Jason Killed! (We can only hope)
3. Soap Opera Weekly — Finally: 3 Huge Explosive Secrets Exposed!

Top 3 Soap Moments To Watch:
1. Monday: GL’s Olivia tries to explain to her intellectually challenged daughter, Ava, that she is gay — and doesn’t know Celestia.
2. Monday: Lynn Herring debuts as Audrey Coe on World Turns. “Wow — my career is in the dumps,” she realizes internally.
3. Friday: One Life’s Bo visits Lindsay in Statesville Prison. He asks, “How’s the self-help book business doing?”

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Nelson Branco is a Toronto freelance entertainment journalist, who regularly contributes to Hello! Canada, The National Post, The Los Angeles Times' theenvelope.com, TV Guide USA, tvguide.com, Inside Entertainment, OUT, and fab magazine, along with spearheading the soap coverage for TVGuide.ca's popular daytime TV hub. After graduating from Ryerson University in 1997, he moved from Toronto to New York in 1998 to take on the roles as senior news editor at Soap Opera Update. Branco first freelanced for Soap Opera Weekly as an intern in 1994, and after leaving Soap Update to help create and launch Bauer Publishing's In Touch Weekly in 2003, Branco continued to freelance occasionally for its sister publication, Soaps In Depth. Most recently, he helped create and launch Canada's first celebrity magazine, Weekly Scoop in 2005 as its news and entertainment director. Branco is also a contributor to a new TV show titled Planet Soap to air in Canada and America.