Yaaaaaawn. Hmm? Oh, American Idol last night. It was in Louisville, KY, and it stank. It stank almost as much as the horses at Churchill Downs must do after an unsettling breakfast.
No wonder Idol was down about 10 per cent last week from its 2008 season première. Could this be the end for the ratings monolith? Judging from Louisville, looks like it.
In the opening shot, there was little Ryan Seacrest on the horse track, looking for all the world like a very tanned and excited jockey. Then, a brief dispute over the pronunciation of the city’s name – is it Lou-iss-ville, L-oui-ville or Luuuuurville? I’m partial to the latter, just ‘cause saying it makes me feel like Ludacris.
Among those who assaulted my ears were Tiffany Shedd (a bitter Betty if I ever saw one), Irene Anguelela (who looked suspiciously over the age limit) and some girl who sounded like Minnie Mouse with vibrato run amok.
And then there were the just plain strange contestants: Mark Mudd, who threatened the judges with “be careful” on his way out; “Cara Mia” singer Ross Plavsik, who arranges Chinese characters for fun; and foot-stomping, hyper-enthusiastic Aaron Williamson, who pleaded with judges to let him be America’s Next Top Model. Laughing. Out. Loud.
There were some promising candidates, though, whom the judges let through. Joanna Pacitti previously had a record contract, and Brent Keith Smith reminded me of stubbly, skeevy Spencer Pratt, though I’m sure he’s a perfectly nice boy. Duelling piano player Matt Giraud worked a Justin Timberlake vibe, while stay-at-home mom Alexis Grace sang “Dr. Feelgood” with gusto.
The girl who stole my sympathy, though, was Lenesha Young, a poverty-stricken 18-year-old who lived in shelters growing up. She did something revolutionary for karaoke-loving Idol: she sang an original (and more-than-decent) song.
All in all, a mere 19 people out of 11,000 auditioners made it through to Hollywood. Next stop, Jacksonville, Fla. Here’s hoping my ears can make it through the night.
American Idol airs Tuesdays and Wednesdays at 8 p.m. ET on CTV/Fox.
Thoughts? melissa@tvguide.ca
