I’m convinced of it. Maybe not initially, but Simmons wasn’t partaking in the frenzied shenanigans that compose The Apprentice boardroom, and he definitely wasn’t going to tell Donald Trump that he had made an error.
Let me backtrack for those of you who channel surfed or flipped during commercials and happened to miss some crucial points.
At the beginning of a task to sell Kodak printers, Trump pointedly asked Simmons if he would bring his leadership to the twice-faltering women and help them secure a victory. Simmons, the self-proclaimed King of Women agreed, then basically announced he was their tyrant.
King Simmons then refused to send everyone to the executive meeting at Kodak, feeling that Carol Alt and Nely Galan would be representation enough. Of course Galan yapped through the execs’ presentation, completely missing their message: Kodak has amazing ink that produces three times as much product at half the cost.
Back in Gene Simmons land, the rock star came up with his own message: it’s a Kodak World. Admittedly, the women had a waaaay better presentation: their trailer didn’t look like a garbage dump, as one of the judges pointed out. (Who was that guy anyhow?)
However, poor old Stephen Baldwin spilled coffee all over the men’s laptop, resulting in a somewhat haphazard and rushed presentation that really couldn’t be helped. At least they got the message right, and of course they won.
Here came the real kicker. Donald Trump did NOT want to fire Gene Simmons. Why would he? Simmons is the reason so many people are once again tuning into the tired reality show. Younger generations don’t know who Carol Alt and Nely Galan are, and it’s the younger generations that tend to watch these shows. Simmons is just so arrogant you have to love him. Or love to hate him, take your pick.
Anyhow, this is my version of how it went down:
Trump: Gene, why didn’t you go to that meeting?
Simmons: Executives don’t know what they want. I know what they want.
Trump: They didn’t like your message.
Simmons: I disagree.
Trump: Every task there is a winner and a loser. This time you’re a loser, they didn’t like your message.
Simmons: I disagree.
Audible sigh from Trump.
Trump: Nely, you should be a star. Why haven’t you been a star these past three weeks? These are your tasks.
Galan: I should have done better Mr. Trump.
Trump: The executives said you talked over them, is that true?
Galan: Mr. Trump, that’s absurd!
Trump: Ok, Carol, who would you fire?
Alt: Me or Nely, sir. We dropped the ball on the meeting.
A nod of approval from The Trump.
Trump: Nely who would you fire?
Galan: Jenny, sir.
Trump: Why?
Galan: She’s not a leader, sir.
Trump: She wasn’t supposed to be a leader on this one. Find yourself another scapegoat. Ok, Gene, who are you bringing back?
Simmons: Can I bring back one?
Trump: Sure.
Simmons: Omarosa.
Another audible sigh from Trump, this time louder.
Trump: Pick someone else to bring back. Why aren’t you saying Nely? I clearly want to fire her. Who else?
Simmons: Jenny.
Veins throb on Trump’s forehead. Flashing upstairs, the men shake their heads.
Vinnie Pastore: Gene Simmons just whacked himself!
And so on and so forth. End result?
Trump: Gene, I don't want to do this but you've given me no other choice. You brought back two people who don't deserve to be here.
Simmons: I disagree.
Trump: Gene, you're fired. Now what am I going to do for ratings?
I challenge anyone who watched last night’s show to prove Simmons didn’t want off. I don’t care how arrogant he is, if he can have a success story like the one he’s got, the man is no dummy. He threw away several chances at redemption and committed Apprentice suicide.
The man clearly wanted off.
Thoughts? amber@tvguide.ca
Celebrity Apprentice airs Thursdays 9 p.m. ET, Global TV/NBC
