A few weeks back, TVGuide.ca traded some witty banter with Liberal Party opposition leader Stéphane Dion in an effort to understand what makes our most prominent politicians tick.
OK, so it was Dion’s Air Farce Live doppelgänger Alan Park who answered our burning questions, but we figure it was a reasonable enough approximation of the real thing.
We got to thinking how terribly disappointed Prime Minister Stephen Harper must be about not being included in our little endeavour. He must be, like, seriously bummed, questioning the meaning of life and stuff.
So we decided to give Harper a chance to respond to the same questions we asked Dion. Via his Air Force Live portrayer Craig Lauzon, of course.
TVGuide.ca: What do you think are the strengths and weaknesses of Stéphane Dion?
Stephen Harper: Dion has no strengths – that is his greatest weakness!!
TVG: Why do you think you’re a better leader than he is?
SH: Because everyone is afraid of me and that is the quality every great leader has, right? I said, right?!?
TVG: Do the two of you have anything in common?
SH: Yes, we are both human males and we both have spousal units.
TVG: What do you think of [Bloc Québécois leader] Gilles Duceppe?
SH: Who?
TVG: What do you think of the U.S. election right now?
SH: I love American politics; I try and implement them here any chance I get.
TVG: Do you have any favourites who you think can grab the most votes?
SH: My money is on George W. Bush to win.
TVG: If you weren’t leading the country, what would you be doing?
SH: I’d probably be working with kids. They are easy to intimidate.
TVG: What’s your favourite TV show, and why?
SH: I absolutely can't get enough of The Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. Those cyborgs are so life-like ... I feel their pain.
TVG: Do you have any advice for people who are considering going into politics?
SH: Never flinch and never say sorry – they are signs of weakness. Oh, and learn to smile no matter how painful.
TVG: If you could give Canadians one message – about politics, life or anything else – what would it be?
SH: Whenever you are talking about politics, use hockey metaphors. And whenever you talk about hockey, use political metaphors. The Leafs need to trade for a goalie ... if you know what I mean.
Air Farce Live airs Fridays, 8 p.m. on CBC.
melissa@tvguide.ca
